Shyness Is Nice

I know you worry. You’re told at every parent-teacher conference: “Your child is so quiet” or “She needs to speak up more.” You think to yourself, “How will my child succeed in school when so much is based on group participation?” Read More

There are many issues with how shy and introverted people are misperceived. A friend of mine sent me this letter to the editor from her hometown newspaper—a letter that details how a highly successful and motivated student was given a poor recommendation simply because she is shy. Read More

As a child, I was very introverted and quite shy. I had friends, but generally preferred spending time with one or two of them at a time. When in large groups such as Cub Scouts or less-structured social events, I generally felt out of place. I remained on the periphery and honed my observation skills. Read More

Research studies show that meditation reduces anxiety, and in just a month of formal practice, I've been amazed at the results. Even a world-class worrier such as I have noticed benefits in a this short time. Read More

Shy kids who are reluctant readers frequently benefit from working with a specialized tutor. Surprisingly, the best tutor for a shy child often has four legs. Read More

Comedian Jerry Seinfield talks about a survey where people were asked about their greatest fears. Death came in at number two, while public speaking was number one. As Jerry put it: "So, if you're at a funeral, you're better off being in the casket than giving the eulogy." How do you feel when you step up to speak or perform? Read More

Sports represent the ultimate in reality television. In addition to the competition, there are the personal stories behind the events. This background adds a mythical subtext that exemplifies why athletes are sometimes seen as heroes. Read More

As a psychologist, I am frequently inspired by the resiliency people display in everyday life. Through the Internet and the power of social networking, I have met amazing people whose stories need to be told. Let me introduce you to Marla Genova, a woman who has worked hard to confront her own social anxiety, and ultimately, help others do the same. Read More

Whenever I've thought about willpower before, it's been in the context of not doing something. Like not eating that piece of chocolate cake. I associated willpower with deprivation. But I've been reading the just-released book, The Willpower Instinct, by Stanford professor, Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D., and my opinion of willpower is improving. Read More

It wasn't until years later, when I wrote Painfully Shy: How to Overcome Social Anxiety and Reclaim Your Life, did I muster the courage to share my own story. I wanted to be honest, and I wanted to let people know they are not alone. Most of all, I wanted people to know there is hope. Read More

Yep, Christmas sure is tough. But it is the season of giving, after all, which is why I feel it is my duty as a mildly respected yet occasionally unemployed psychologist to provide you with a few tips to make it through the holidays. Read More

Although "shy" is not a negative term in my mind, I realize it's sometimes not considered a desirable trait. Think about it. When was the last time you had someone tell you, "Wow! It's great that you're shy." Read More

Many of us with social anxiety hold ourselves to unrealistically high standards. We are terribly afraid of making mistakes, somehow believing that perfection is a requirement for being accepted as a worthy member of the human race. Read More

But if you're like me, it's so much harder in real life to deal with uncertainty. The stakes seem so much higher. I often hear myself saying, "If only I knew this would turn out okay..." Read More