And it's equally likely that World Cup fans, as ignorant of noise facts as your average Joe in the U.S. or Europe, will be blissfully unaware that his or her hearing apparatus has suffered measurable trauma because of attending the England-U.S. or the Paraguay-Italy match.

The vuvuzela far surpasses in decibels other classic soccer/football noise, such as air horns, Brazilian samba drums or Swiss cowbells. The massed chorus of drunken Brits singing "We are the champions" or "You'll never walk alone" as England plays might approach vuvuzela levels--however those songs, thank the gods, are only sung sporadically.

From a purely sports perspective, the referees' whistle is much less loud than the vuvuzela symphony. There have been complaints that players cannot hear crucial calls. It's only a matter of time before players routinely keep playing long after an offside or penalty whistle has sounded, drowned out in the killer-bee moan of the Zulu trumpet.

I am not in South Africa, unfortunately, but I like watching soccer/football, even on TV. My pleasure this year is mightily dimmed by the constant moronic drone of the vuvuzela swarm. I think the Zulu trumpet should be banned from sports stadiums, and never mind the religious and cultural reasons for its presence.

Don't get me wrong. I have traveled extensively in Africa, I lived in Central Africa for one winter, I minored in African politics, I have written novels about parts of Africa. I believe Africa's real riches lie not in mineral wealth but in the enormous depth and diversity of its thousands of cultures, languages and traditions.

And, having protested against Apartheid since I was in my teens, I am also well aware of the brutality of the old Boer regime, the ongoing aftereffects of racism, and the opportunity for pride and celebration that holding the World Cup for the first time in an African country affords Africans of every ethnic background and nationality.

But that is no excuse for impeding the game the world has come to watch. And it's certainly no reason to damage the hearing of tens of thousands of sports fans, many of them young.

My friend Dana agrees with me. He also fears the vuvuzela fad will be imported to the U.S. "They should stop it at the border," he tells me passionately, "the customs officers should confiscate them. Never mind stopping illegal Hispanics--stop the vuvuzela!"

I'm not sure I'd go that far. But I hope the governing body of world soccer/football, FIFA, does the right thing, and forgoes political correctness for the good of the sport--and for the health of its fans--by banning the Zulu trumpet from World Cup matches.