Protecting their young. It's one of the most important responsibilities for a parent. And one that our own mother took very seriously, even when her young became well, old.
Since the day we were born, she had a unique gift of finding hidden dangers in unsuspecting places and clearly communicating them to us.
"Saint Anthony! Don't take your kids to Home Depot! More kids get crushed from falling bathtubs there!"
Knowing this, it’s not at all surprising that she was not a fan of Facebook, where the dangers are often publicized.
“Girls, I don't like that Spacebook. I read that strangers can rob your house if they know you're not home."
She was particularly concerned over the use of Facebook by her grandchildren, including Gina's daughters with special needs, who tend to be naive and a little too trusting of others.
"You know Gina, there could be pedophiles out there. What if someone pretends to be their friend and finds out where they live?"
Though our mother tended to be a bit overcautious, we couldn't blame her for her concerns. Every day, it seems there is some story on the news of some bad thing that happened because of Facbook -- bullying, suicides, identity theft, robberies, etc. In fact, Gina was content to never have her children join Facebook until her teen daughter with Asperger's approached her with a request.
"Mom, I want to join Facebook."
"Oh, Honey, I worry about that. You're very trusting and I'm afraid you might get harmed."
"But Mom, it will help me connect with my friends. You know I'm not good at answering or talking on the phone. It's easier for me to talk to kids online."
Katie certainly had a point. When Gina got her last cell phone bill, she noticed Katie had only used up 2 of her 500 anytime minutes. She probably was the only mother in America who nagged her kid to get on the phone.
Katie furthered her case by suggesting, "I'll friend you Mom."
Gina couldn't help but be flattered. "Really, you want to friend your mother? That says so much about our relationship, Honey."
"Yeah, right," said Katie.
Writers' note: Later, Gina would learn the real reason for Katie's decision to friend her mother.
"Duh Mom! The more "friends" I have, the more popular I look!"
"I wondered why our dog Max had a page," said Gina.
To her credit, despite her increased friend count, Katie has stayed connected to her mother. And surprisingly, Gina has actually found Facebook a useful tool to gauge her daughter's feelings. Like many children with Asperger’s, Katie keeps to herself and often doesn't show that she's upset. Now, a simple view of her daughter's status line puts Gina's already razor sharp maternal instincts on high alert.
"Hmm, Katie's status says, 'Katie is not talking to ANYONE today!' I think something must be wrong."
Facebook has also helped Gina glean some interesting facts about her daughter, just by the information on her page. For example, she’s learned that Katie's favorite quotation is “Excuses are like armpits. They stink.”
And that Katie's favorite activities include “napping, being tan, and laughing until it hurts."
Gina was also a bit surprised to learn that Katie is a fan of grass, something she had to reassure her husband about.
“Relax Mike, she means the garden variety.”
Patty has also found Facebook to be a valuable tool to help keep up with her freshman son's activities and ensure his safety.
“Michael, what did you do after school yesterday?"
“Oh, I just chilled out with my friends.”
“Yes, I saw that in your Facebook picture. But tell me, do you think placing yourself in the soda cooler at CVS is a smart way to chill?”
Of course, our kids have tried to outsmart us. For example, one day Gina was shocked to discover a generic photo of someone with the same name as Katie in the “People You May Know Section.” Curious, Gina clicked on the photo and saw that it was another page for her daughter with one minor difference -- this page contained profanity, something that's not allowed in Gina's G-rated house.
When Gina confronted her daughter about it, Katie said, “How did you find out, Mom? I just wanted a page to swear on."
We never thought about it, but Facebook is a bit like The Home Depot; it can be a wonderful experience. You just have to be vigilant and anticipate the dangers in advance. If you don't, you could get hit with something that could pretty much destroy you -- like, say, a falling bathtub.
