Shrink Wrap

What we can learn from the trials and triumphs of celebrity relationships.

Justin Bieber: Was It One Baby Too Many? Who’s Responsible For Birth Control?

What We Can Learn From The Trials And Triumphs Of Celebrity Relationships

Justin Bieber was recently accused of fathering a child with 20-year-old Mariah Yeater who he allegedly had a brief sexual encounter with at his Los Angeles concert in October 2010. It is hard not to let the words to his hit song "Baby" run through my mind as I contemplate this. "I'm like baby, baby, baby, no!" We don't yet know if there is any truth to it, and he has denied even knowing her, but, if nothing more, it clearly raises the question of who is responsible for using birth control?
Sex happens, that's a fact. Sometimes it's planned, sometimes it's spontaneous. It takes place when you have just met someone, at the beginning of a relationship and, hopefully, during a long-term connection. No matter when it happens, it should always be something that takes thought and care. There are so many forms of birth control out there, a condom or a diaphragm is far from the only choice, and there is always the morning after pill if you have gone so far as to have unprotected sex. There is really no excuse to let it slide. Being mindful about contraception is a way to protect not only yourself but also your relationship. But who should pay attention, and who should make sure the protection is used?

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Some say it is the man's responsibility, other's say it should be done by the woman. I say every person who is going to have sex with another person is responsible for making sure that protection is put in place. In the ideal world, this would be a joint discussion. But that is not always the way it happens. Realistically, we have to accept that people get caught up in the moment. If you are a sexually active man or woman, you owe it to yourself to make sure you are not leaving it up to the other person, and that you are always prepared.

Keep in mind, also, that there are times when you and your sexual partner aren't coming from the same place and may have different intentions. Avoiding pregnancy isn't always everyone's top priority. Don't blindly trust that you and your partner are on the same page. Take matters into your own hands.

If Justin Bieber really did have sexual relations with the woman, as she claims, then maybe she saw it as a good opportunity to cash in on his fame. True or false, there is a lesson to be learned. Lives can change for better or worse in that moment of pleasure. In the end, it is better to have too much protection than too little.

 

 

Jane Greer, Ph.D., is a Marriage and Family Therapist, author of What about Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship, and radio host of Doctor on Call.

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