Verified by 
Key points
- After age 50, women often let go of long-held body image issues, trauma, and emotional wounds.
- For some women over 50, their focus begins to center on their relationship with their own sexuality.
- Letting go of perceptions of what sexuality is about can help women over 50 have positive sexual experiences.
For many women, turning 50 triggers their sexuality alarm clock. This emerging interest in sex life often results in the best sex they have ever had. There is a willingness in a woman over 50 to finally let go of the myths that may have haunted her for her entire life. She may be ready to let go of long-held body image issues, trauma, and wounds from past heartaches or failed relationships, and even abuse. She may find she finally has the time and the means to discover herself sexually, and this exploration has now become a priority in her life. She simply cannot tolerate missing out on what is possible for her, and often sets out on a journey of sensual self-discovery.
For many women after the age of 50, if there are children, they are mostly independent. Their career and financial security are more certain. Women at 50 are no longer fighting to establish a marriage, a career, or a family. They are ready to do something different and their focus has suddenly begun to center on their relationship with their own sexuality.
Women need to let go of the idea that after the age of 50, women have a diminishing or lower libido post-menopause. That does not have to be true. Letting go of perceptions of what sexuality is about can help.
Sex After 50
- Sex is not more about a partner's pleasure. Somehow many women have this notion they are only supposed to get sexual satisfaction from or after the sexual satisfaction of their partner. While she can certainly take pleasure from interacting with her partner, the reality is that both she and her partner can manifest greater satisfaction by focusing only on her pleasure. Women need to discover that their job in bed is no longer about getting the partner off efficiently and neatly. When they learn to speak their own desires (not an easy thing to learn if they don't really know what they are), they are able to invite their partners into their pleasure. Making that shift in perspective can lead to better sex for everyone.
- Stop worrying about “taking too long” to achieve pleasure. The wonderful thing about sex after 50 is that you have more time and space to explore touch. If you feel like you are taking too long, put aside that thought in a very conscious way. Learn to take the time you want and need to explore every nuance of your sexuality.
- Over the age of 50, bodies do change. Lubricant can enhance pleasure and prevent painful intercourse. There are many different kinds on the shelves, even coconut oil can be helpful.
- The idea of "Real Sex" may need shifting. Real sex is not just about intercourse and orgasm. The best sex often does not include either one. Shifting the emphasis from orgasm to touching, kissing, stroking. Being creative and welcoming curiosity can allow new sensations.
- Women have as much erectile tissue in their pelvis as men do in their penis. It's just that women are not taught about it, and many feel uncomfortable fully exploring their own bodies.
Sex can be better after 50 than at any other time in your life. It can involve new adventures, brand new experiences, and the fresh freedom of erotic autonomy ready and ripe for exploration.
