Shameless Woman

Pursuing an integrated life of sensuality, health, healing and rejuvenation

The Vagina

A woman's relationship with her vagina can change her life.

I want to stand up and testify for Naomi Wolf, and her new book “Vagina: A New Biography”. Because damn, is she taking it on the chin for speaking what I know, and so many others know to be the truth.

Hold on to your hats, here it comes! A woman's vagina is hard wired  straight up  to her pelvis, up through her heart and into her brain. When that connection is broken her entire life suffers. Ms. Wolf shares her own story, which led up to her book. She lived it. And it made her curious. I lived it, wrote a book about my journey, and it changed my life too. The vagina is that powerful. A woman's relationship with her vagina can change her life — from her general happiness to her career.

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And there is always hell to pay when you say the word “vagina." Imagine what Ms. Wolf is facing by opening the door to a conversation about the vagina. Once again, scientists, feminists, and anyone with a microphone have projected their fears and anxieties about women onto vaginas. Well, we are nothing if not consistent.

Just peek into the history of the vagina: we have lost and found the female G Spot and the Clitoris for hundreds of years. They keep appearing and disappearing from medical literature. Is it no wonder that scientists can't agree about the cutting edge neuroscience that  explains the biochemical reasons why the vagina and female sexual pleasure is so powerful (it's all about Dopamine, Opioids and Oxytocin).

Scientists are still fighting about the female prostate!

I want to say — “Go fight amongst yourselves." Women who have done this deeply vulnerable work and connected their parts with very little support and often open opposition from society can tell you that the loop exists. Just talk to us.

I know that when I fought through all I had to fight through to re-connect my vagina to the rest of me, my entire world changed. My creativity went up, my happiness and general ease in life improved, my self esteem changed radically into something positive and beautiful, and I even let go of a long standing eating disorder. It was so important for me to tell the story of my sexual reclaiming that I risked everything to write a book about it and tell the world.

I now work with women every day that are on a mission to reclaim “The Divine Feminine," “The Goddess” or plain and simple — their bodies. And when they finally connect their vagina to the rest of them — their entire life changes. And this desire to connect to our bodies has no age limit. Every day I talk to women in every decade of life. Women are catching on to the power of their vagina, and they don't want to miss out, even if the saying of the word "vagina" fills them with shame.

The experience of orgasm is almost besides the point. It's more about our ability to connect to sexual pleasure that is the powerful healer and transmitter for women. 

I am proud to stand with Ms. Wolf and countless other female sexual pleasure leaders such as Caroline Muir, Joan Heartfield, Nicole Daedone and Mama Gena just to name a few — who will stand and speak to the facts that we all know: Sexual pleasure and a connectedness to our vaginas is pathway for women to tap into our courage, our dreams, and our power.

It's why it's so damn scary to a world that still wants to keep women tapped down. Imagine if all women were taught that they could find a feeling of enlightenment, freedom, bliss, and feelings that can be called meditative or transcendent through their vaginas?

Is it just so over the top to possibly believe that our relationship with our own vagina can possibly effect our mind states? I echo Ms Wolf's question to all of us. Why isn't this neural-science in the news? Why isn't it on The View, The Doctors, and Dr. Oz? Where is Wendy Williams and Ellen?

Women can heal through their vaginas. Women can power house their life through their vaginas. Women need this information. Read Naomi Wolf's book. And get comfortable saying and hearing the word “Vagina."

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To learn more about Pamela Madsen's "Back to The Body Retreats For Women" please visit here

To learn more about Pamela's Book "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, And Found True Pleasure" please visit here.

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Pamela Madsen is a fertility/sex educator, blogger, author of Shameless and founder of The American Fertility Association.

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