Shameless Woman

Pursuing an integrated life of sensuality, health, healing and rejuvenation

You Don't Have a "Sexpiration Date"

Baby Boomers are not going quietly into the night!

I just came across a blog by sexpert, Dr. Laura Berman where she was writing about older people and sex. I love this topic especially as I enter the second half of my life. And what I am loving more and more is the fabulous role models that we have begun to have for aging sexuality. The Baby Boomers are not going quietly into the night. It is no longer unusual to see people in their 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's and beyond being portrayed as sexy or sexually active in the media. What's more, there is no "ick factor" being tied to aging sexuality. It is being put out there as fabulous and something to aspire to keep in our lives. I think we are getting past the day when most people think that aging has a "sexpiration date" as Berman called it. And I think that is not only important—I think it is life affirming.

In fact, what I see in my sexuality coaching practice is more and more women and couples are wanting to step up their sex lives in what some call "The Golden Years". And no one is feeling shy about looking for support to make that happen. There are some frank realities for aging bodies—our hormones change (both men and women) and what might have been a rush to the finish in our youth —may be a more graceful and delicious slow dance after 50. Personally, I think that this is a positive not a negative. Too bad many folks didn't learn to waltz in their youth. Instead of eating fast food in the bedroom—as we age we learn to have gourmet meals and take our time.

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When women reach menopause, decreased estrogen levels may lead to a slower sexual response. Don't worry—it's there! Reach for the support in the forms of lubricants and non hormonal topical lotions that increase female arousal and orgasm such as Zestra. For women, adding in these two simple tools can make all the difference in the world.

For the guys it is about blood flow too. Many men experience erectile difficulties as they age, in which they have difficulty attaining or maintaining an erection. Please remember that body parts can receive pleasure even when they are not erect. And circulation and blood flow to the genitals can decrease as part of the natural aging process. Viagra and Cialis can help improve genital blood flow and thus help with erectile concerns.

Whether we are young or old—our sexuality is really not about performance. It is about pleasure, touch and intimacy. So, don't let body changes discourage you - for both men and women - there are no sexpiration dates!

Pamela Madsen is a fertility/sex educator, blogger, author of Shameless and founder of The American Fertility Association.

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