Shameless Woman

Pursuing an integrated life of sensuality, health, healing and rejuvenation

Hear My Battle Cry! It's Time to Draw a Line Between Sex Education and Pornography

We Need to Stop Confusing Sex Education and Pornography.

Let me ask you a question. If you stumbled upon a video which showed sensuous touch demonstrated on a life like replica (a doll) created with the sole purpose to educate people on touch skills - not to titillate - would you consider that pornographic? I wouldn't. But You Tube does.

Let me tell you a story. I have two wonderful women friends who are sex educators. They wanted to educate men and women on how to touch each other erotically comfortably. They formed a company called The Pleasure Mechanics. It is their goal to find a way to teach quality touch skills in a "non adult" or "Pornographic way". They knew that many people turn to pornography to try to learn touch skills but there are a lot of problems with that. First of all - not everyone is comfortable watching pornography and pornography is not legal in all countries. They wanted to reach people from around the world. They wanted to create a way of providing sex education that was clear about skills without distracting the viewer with images of hot sexy bodies. They were not in the porn industry - they were in the business of sex education.

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So they built their business and made sure that their website is not an "adult site". Touch is demonstrated in easily watchable and inexpensive to down load videos. All you see are hands demonstrating touch on life like replicas - and a soft pleasant voice guides you through the strokes.

The videos are selling well - with over two million views on You Tube - until yesterday when You Tube pulled them down as pornographic. These incredible women just lost a major channel to reach their audience around the world. All because someone didn't really pay attention to what they were pulling down - and there is no way to speak to You Tube. It is enough to make me scream.

One of the other Psychology Today bloggers, Dr. Lissa Rankin who wrote the book "What's Up Down There" is continually censored for using the word "vagina" in her interviews with the media and during her lectures.

Zestra, a female arousal gel that is over the counter, all natural and topical can't get air time because the very idea of female sexual desire makes some people squirm.

And I wonder why women are literally crying in my arms all over the country on my book tour because they have never had an orgasm, or feel shut down sexually, or trapped within their own bodies.

These women do not have language to talk about their bodies. They cannot find information that is not outside of their confort zone to assist them. There is a big difference between sex education and pornography! I keep going around and around on this subject - and it is a line in the sand that is preventing people from getting access to quality sex education - and forcing them into sexless lives because they can't find what they need to help them.

I am very lucky that my book, Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner" has been continually put into the "Self Help Category" by such large media outlets as USA Today - and has been embraced by such notables as Dr. Christiane Northrup.

But there is still the occasional reader who will leave me a comment calling it porn. My book is not porn - it is a story of sexual awakening and transformational power of pleasure in my life. And yes - that does include a few sexy chapters - and a lot of laughter. I wrote it to educate - not titillate - but if my readers get happy and turned on reading parts of it - good for them! I want to inspire! Getting turned on, and inspired by videos, books, or language about sex is a good thing and not pornographic!

We have a very serious problem in this country. We really don't understand the difference between pornography and sex education. We have people who flag anything as pornography and unacceptable simple because it involves sex. And then we wonder about the high teenage pregnancy rates, and seniors having the highest rates of Sexually Transmitted Diseases, and people who are left confused about  their relationships because they cannot find information that they are comfortable enough with  to guide them to their own sexual healing and pleasure.

You Tube - Please restore the Pleasure Mechanics Videos so  that they can reach the most people possible in teaching important touch skills so that people can have good sex in their lives.

Read Dr. Lissa Rankin's Book "What's Up Down There" and let her say Vagina where ever she wants! We have to insist on stopping the censorship of female sexuality! If we don't have permission to say our body parts out loud how can we learn how they work!

Media outlets - Let Zestra advertise! Women are just as entitled as men to learn about products that can enhance their sexual desire. I am talking to women all over the country that have heard about Viagra because you can advertise male sexual enhancement products - but have never heard about Zestra!

Really - what is up with all of this?

And yes - check out my book - and let me tell you a little, out of the box, true story about my own sexual awakening and what is possible when we are willing to step into and live our authentic lives.

When it comes to distinguishing between sex education and pornography - I am drawing a line in the sand. It's time to stand up and demand access and information about our sexuality without being shamed the information called "dirty".


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Pamela Madsen is a fertility/sex educator, blogger, author of Shameless and founder of The American Fertility Association.


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