Shame

Toward authentic self-esteem

by Joseph Burgo, Ph.D.

When Is It Appropriate to Feel Shame?

While the current anti-shame zeitgeist encourages the culturally oppressed to rebel against shame, the experience of shame is sometimes appropriate, preserving certain aspects of the human experience from becoming degraded and meaningless. Read More

The Toilet Function of Friendship

Some people treat friendship as a "dumping" ground for their pain. Read More

Worshipping Celebritites and Taking Pleasure In Their Demise

When we idealize celebrities we often envy them as well: first we take vicarious pleasure in their perfect lives and then enjoy watching them fall apart. Read More

Lance Armstrong: Narcissism and What Lies Behind It

In Part One of his interview with Oprah, Lance Armstrong showed no authentic sense of guilt or remorse but continued to display the characteristic defenses against shame at the heart of narcissism. Read More

Good and Bad Reasons for Taking an Anti-Depressant

Anti-depressants have their uses, but many people take them in order to avoid a life situation or personal truth they find unbearable. Read More

The Art of the Apology

A genuine apology conveys full acceptance of responsibility and never includes the words "if" or "but." Read More

Narcissism vs. Authentic Self-Esteem

Genuine self-respect grows from living up to our own standards. Narcissism is a defensive cover for an underlying sense of shame, the very opposite of authentic self-esteem. Read More

Narcissistic People & the Lost Art of Conversation

Shouldn't good conversation involve more than waiting until it's your turn to talk about yourself? Read More

Narcissism and Other Defenses Against Shame

Narcissism, blaming/indignant rage and contempt are the three most common defenses against shame. Read More

The Origins of Shame

One of the great fallacies that many scientists have is that everything that is before birth is genetic and that everything that is after birth is learned. This is not the case. Read More

The Psychological Defense as Emotional Lie

In this unusual new self-help book, psychodynamic views of defense mechanisms and the unconscious mind inform a course in self-exploration. Read More

Lance Armstrong: The Hero as Narcissist

Lance Armstrong and his race against shame Read More

Shame as Unrequited Love

New PT blogger Joseph Burgo submits his first blog post exploring the roots of shame in early failures of attunement -- a kind of unrequited love -- between mother and child. Read More