Sexual Positions

Tangents on the science of sexuality

Interview With the Vamp III

An escort discusses her profession and some of her most memorable clients.

Part III

What follows is the conclusion of my interview with Veronica, a professional escort working in South Florida. Parts I and II can be found here and here. Picking up where I left off— 

What’s the best thing you can do to get a big tip?

Most of my clients don’t tip me, but…a lot of clients do it so that you’ll be in their favor [sic]. This is going to sound arrogant, but I have a waiting list, so it’s kind of hard to see me.  A guy might have been trying to see me for a month or two months, so he’ll give me a larger tip so that it’s, “Hey, make sure you put me in your favorites, or like the next time I call, try and make some extra space or whatever.” A lot of guys will use the extra money that is going towards a tip for an extra hour or for an extra half an hour. Instead of tipping you, they’ll extend. But when I travel, I go to New York, I see higher end clients. They’ll give me an extra $200, and they’ll be out the door in five minutes. So it just kind of depends on the client, depends on the man. They just want to throw money at you sometimes. 

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How do you feel about legalization?

As long as you’re over-age and it’s consensual, I think it should be legalized.

 

They say you should stop at a red light.

Would you consider working in Nevada or Holland or some place and just doing it where it is legal?

I would, I would, but my family’s here, my friends are here, so… This isn’t something that I plan on doing forever. It’s not a career choice. It’s kind of a stepping stone, and right now it’s just kind of getting me to the next point.

So how long do you think you’ll be doing this, and then what are your plans?

I don’t really want to go past a year, but once season starts money gets a lot a lot better, and I haven’t worked during season before. So I want to just see how that goes. My plan for this, after, is I want to go to pilot school, so this is kind of financing that. They don’t have scholarships. They don’t have anything like that, so you need to have the money to be able to do that.

Are you tucking away money for that now?

Oh for sure. Money’s definitely being saved for that. 

You’re not doing it because the sex is pleasurable, but how good are the guys, at sex?

[laughs] Once in a while I have clients that are younger, that are my age, and they’re usually the worst ones honestly. Some guys are good as far as oral, but the f***ing part? There’s not a lot of good ones [laughs].

Probably my favorite client, [The facial expression and body language here reminded me distinctly of the archetype 1960s teenage girl saying, “He’s positively dreamy.”] which is really awful cause I have a boyfriend, but he’s just like really attractive, and he’s young, and he’s very good at the whole sex thing, so yeah. Mmm.

So there’s a least one out there who’s good at it.

Yes, there is one.

Do you see a lot of premature ejaculation?

Yes.

 

Not as much as you’d like?

Yes, um, not as much as I would like.

If they still have time on the clock, can they try to go again?

It’s time on the clock. They can go as many times as they want. I have a client who will go six times in one session. It just…depends on what you can do. I have clients who, I can’t even get them up in a whole hour session.

Are you going to work today?

Yeah. 

Did you go yesterday?

I went yesterday. The beginning of the week I did not because I was on my period. I do not work on my period. Some girls do. I tried it once. It just wasn’t for me. What they do is, you know those natural sea sponges? They just cut off a chunk and stick it deep inside, and it just kind of absorbs. One of the girls was on her period, and it was one of her first days [in her menstrual cycle], so it was a heavy flow. And the client was bigger, so he would push against the sponge, and the sponge would leak. And when she got up it was all over the bed. So he was like, “Are you on your period?” And she was like, “No. That just really hurt.” And he was like, “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. Here’s an extra hundred dollars.” But most girls don’t like to do it when they’re on their period.

What’s the biggest misconception that people have about escorts?

That we’re criminals, that we’re druggies. There are definitely girls you’re going to see that are like that, but if you find the right agency, you find the right people, it’s not like that. 

This is a stupid question, but do you kiss on the mouth?

Yeah.

 

Are there some who will do other things but not do that, or is that just a myth?

[laughs] Um, some girls or some guys?

Some girls.

No, we all do, deep French kissing, French kissing, yeah we all do that. 

Okay.

Yeah, that’s a myth.

[See this segment from my favorite hour in television history, especially from 6:00 to 6:30, for one likely source of my confusion.]

Do married guys take their rings off?

No. No, I had a client who wanted me to suck on the finger that he wears his wedding ring on. They don’t care. They’ll take off their watch, but they won’t take off their ring.

Oh, what's the point?

If you have kids someday, what kind of advice would you share with a son or daughter?

Um, a daughter? I don’t think I would ever want her to be doing this. I understand the ease and the money. I’ve been the poor kid. I was living out of my car, and I’ve been there, and the lifestyle is very different.  At the end of the day it’s,“Really? I had to f*** for five minutes, and I made 600 bucks today.” It’s very easy that way. I just hope that once I get to that point in my life, I can provide enough for my children that they won’t need to resort to anything like that.  As far as a son? “Treat her well. Tip her good. Get out the door as soon as you get off.” 

Do you have any interesting clients?

Like, famous? 

Yeah or memorable in some way other than just he wanted to do this or he wanted to do that.

One of the most memorable was a guy who came in for a two-hour session, and he just cried the entire time. He had just gone to a funeral, and he just had to be very strong. It was his father’s funeral, and he had to be very strong like in front of his family, and in front of everybody, and he just came in and he cried, and I just rubbed his back and just listened to him for two hours, and that was it, so that was very memorable and really heart-breaking. 

Are there any insights that you’ve gained about people from doing this?

I think I’ve learned, it’s pretty bad, I’ve learned how to be, I don’t want to say a better girlfriend, but I guess a better lover or…realize what guys really want. I listen a lot. Out of my hour, maybe half an hour is the f***ing, and the other half an hour is listening. They want to talk to you, and they want to vent, and you hear a lot of things, and you think, “I kind of do that to my boyfriend. Maybe I shouldn’t do that to my boyfriend.” 

You said you’re planning to get out in under a year probably?

Mm-hm.

Do you have other girls who have been doing it for a much longer period than that?

I see girls that come in, and they do it for [only] a day. But I see girls at GTs who have been doing this for 30 years. As far as my agency, I’ve been there the longest. Turnover is very quick. But yeah, there is definitely girls that are, they’re old. And you’re like, “Seriously? Who f***s that?”

[In light of the shared sentiment, note that this interview was conducted weeks before the much-ballyhooed Matt Lauer/Miley Cyrus interview.]

What was the oldest client you’ve had?

The oldest client I’ve had. [laughs] Oh I know exactly who he is. He must be about 80. 

Yeah?

Yeah. He’s, he’s old. He’s funny, really funny. He likes to sit down and do Sudoku.

 

Threesome? That's nothing!

That’s adorable.

Yeeeah.

What’s your favorite joke?

My favorite joke? Um, why was the bicycle leaning against the wall? Because it was two-tired. [embarrassed laughter]

How do you feel about people?

People in general?

Yeah.

I think people are complex creatures. I didn’t realize I have the capacity in my brain to talk myself into doing this, talk myself out of being upset about it. …Some people have really strong morals, and they’ll come in, and they’re like, “My God, I’m married. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe…” And I’m like, “You know what? You’re a human, and sex is a very human thing, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.” There are some real a**holes, but I think you see that in everyday life, so I didn’t expect not to see it in this business. But mostly people I see are just very normal, very…they care about me, they care about if I’m okay, they care about if I’m getting off.

And they think you are?

Yes, [feigned indignation] of course I am! Everybody’s special [sincerely]. Everybody gets a gold star at the end of the day.

Okay.

Is that it?

That’s it. Thank you.

 

Conclusion

Although this was not intended to be a scientific investigation, the relevance of myriad psychological theories and concepts (as listed at the beginning of Part I) to the topics covered in the interview may render it useful for illustrative purposes. I shall return to more customary blog posts in the next couple of weeks.

At a few points during the interview, Veronica interpreted my questions in ways more specific than I had intended (e.g., concerning advice for her future children), and these moments are probably more personally revealing of her than any description of a sex act. I appreciate that she felt comfortable enough during the interview to offer as much as she did on the open-ended questions. It is my hope that her willingness to discuss her work (and others' willingness to do the same) will eventually diminish the marginalization of sex workers, at least to the extent of greater protection under the law. It is perhaps not the most pressing of civil rights movements, aside from the countless cases of human trafficking and forced prostitution, but much can be done to protect those who engage in the direct exchange of sex for money, especially when and where it is illegal. Organizations such as COYOTE advocate for such changes and, in particular, for legalization. However, even those who are conscientiously opposed to full decriminalization should see the value in policies to reduce the incidence of rape and violent assault and, if only for the public health benefit, the incidence of STD transmission.

 

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank Veronica again for sitting down and answering all of my questions and for trusting me to share her story, so to speak. I would also like to thank our mutual friend (You know who you are.) for introducing us and apparently putting in a good word for me before the interview. I owe you a favor. I would especially like to thank my wife, Alia, for tolerating my spending an hour with an escort for the sake of the interview.

 

Dr. Scheyd can be followed on Twitter. @GlennScheyd

Glenn J. Scheyd, Jr., Ph.D., is the assistant director, Division of Social and Behavioral Sciences and associate professor of psychology at Nova Southeastern University.

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