Sexual Intelligence

Sex—and culture, politics, psychology—and sex

It's Not a War on Women — It's a War on Sex

Calling it a war on women trivializes the attacks on female AND male sexuality.

First, why is "slut" considered an insult? After all, it's simply a woman who's willing to have sex with several men with whom she isn't married, and probably doesn't even "love." We know Rush meant it as an insult — loose morals and all that — but do we have to take it that way? Why the hurry to assert Sandra Fluke's status as wholesome? That's very different from saying she didn't deserve to be attacked.

Next:

* Demeaning Fluke's sexuality doesn't just attack women-it attacks people.
* Saying birth control is immoral doesn't just disempower women-it disempowers people.
* Requiring vaginal probes before granting the increasingly rare privilege of abortion doesn't just trivialize women's lives--it trivializes people's lives.

Women shouldn't complain as women, they should complain as people.

And men should complain just as much. These women are their loved ones. Not only that, they are being attacked by the government in their role as sexual actors. That makes them someone's sex partner, typically a man. Why aren't these men complaining?

Why men are willing to stand by and let their right to contraception and abortion be swept away is beyond me. And why they're willing to let their wives, girlfriends, and sweethearts (not to mention their mothers, sisters, and daughters) be defamed and disenfranchised is similarly beyond my understanding.

That said, let's stop blaming men ("all-male church," "mostly-male Congress," "male-run Fox News," etc.) for doing all this bad stuff to women.

Women vote to put anti-sex politicians in office; a majority of women voted for Republicans in the 2010 Congressional election. Women support the churches that keep anti-sex politicians in office. Women buy the newspapers and consume the radio and TV programs (like Rush's) that promote moral panics about sexuality.

And let's remember that when women get political power they typically act like men when it comes to sex. Both Michelle Bachman and Sarah Palin are aghast about Rush--not about what he said, but about how he's been held accountable for it. And virtually every female Republican governor and Congressmember of the last decade has voted to restrict access to abortion and birth control.

All of which shows that women can be manipulated to vote against their own interests just like men can.

But again, it's a mistake to think of this as a war on women. It's actually a war on sex. Anything that makes sex safer, more comfortable, healthier, or more pleasurable for women or men is under fire. Rush wants Sandra Fluke to have less sex so she needs less contraception. The Family Research Council wants the HPV vaccine Gardasil withheld from the public because it might lead young people to have more sex. Rick Santorum wants to make abortion harder to obtain so that people won't take sex so lightly. The Phoenix, Arizona city council banned swing clubs because they believe people shouldn't use sex for recreation.

Let's call it what it is: a war on sex. That makes it clear that everyone is a combatant, whether they like it or not. And it's everyone's responsibility to fight back.

 

Marty Klein is a certified sex therapist and licensed psychotherapist. He has written five books and 200 articles about sex; his TV appearances include 20/20 andNightline. more...

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