Sexual Intelligence

Sex—and culture, politics, psychology—and sex

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Soon To Be History

being gay--like being straight--is mostly NOT about sex.

A half-century ago, when blacks were commonly seen as inferior to whites, and millions of whites demanded to live separately from them, satirist Lenny Bruce efficiently skewered racists:

"Say you are white. You have the choice of spending fifteen years married to a woman, a black woman or a white woman. Fifteen years kissing and hugging and sleeping real close on hot nights. The white woman is Kate Smith. And the black woman is Lena Horne. So you're not concerned with black or white anymore, are you? You are concerned with how pretty. Then let's really get basic and persecute ugly people!"

Let's update this.

Say you're a soldier in Afghanistan. You're on patrol in a hostile village. Suddenly you hear yelling in a language you don't understand, and there's a small explosion ahead, then a second one just 100 yards away. The two guys you're with--do you want them small and straight, afraid of loud noises; or big and gay, one who's been working out since high school, and the other a hunter who happens to speak Pashtun?

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If you answer that question wrongly, you are too dumb to protect this country (or your own life) no matter what your sexual orientation is. And if you're straight and terrified of some gay person coming on to you, you really ought to work through your fantasies about homosexuality. Dig up pastor Ted Haggard, senator Larry Craig, state attorney general Troy King and a few other people, and form a support group.

The repeal of DADT certifies that being gay is not just about sex, any more than being straight is just about sex. That may be the most important effect of this decision--the normalization of being gay. In that respect, those who say this is a triumph of the Gay Agenda are absolutely right: it's another step toward ignoring the gayness of gay people, and seeing them as actual human beings.

The whole idea of gay soldiers fighting and dying to create integrity abroad while being prevented from exercising it in our own military is just too bizarre for words. You might as well have cigarette companies funding a truth-in-advertising campaign.

On the Senate floor, ancient war hero John McCain called this "a sad day for America." Ignoring the advice of our own generals now in uniform, he talked of "elites" and "liberals" who have no military experience. I'm one of them. But I don't need military experience to have both common sense and a sense of decency. So Senator, when you were caged in that Vietnam hellhole, if a flaming drag queen swooped in with some artillery and a butch lesbian choppered you out of there, would you have objected? No?

That's proof that when someone's shooting at your ass, you don't care if the guy next to you is looking at yours-as long as he saves it.

 

Marty Klein is a certified sex therapist and licensed psychotherapist. He has written five books and 200 articles about sex; his TV appearances include 20/20 andNightline. more...

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