Sex & Sociability

Question and commentary on connections, both sexual and social

Sexual Intercourse Is...What?

There are more reasons for and and ways to look at the act of sexual intercourse than one might think. Read More

Sexual Intercourse Is ... What?

I agree with you...sex means different things to different people. Some of us feel like a waste can and some of us love it. I happen to love it. I thoroughly enjoyed this article.

Very well-described!

Although the graphic of "spittoon" is horrific, it all-too-well describes how some people view the outlet for sex.
Some men and women allow themselves to be spittoons. Some are looking for these spittoons.
I suppose there is a "type" for everyone, but for me, that person looking for a spittoon lacks respect for both himself and for a partner...
I would avoid a potential partner like that like the plague...
I suppose, as long as both partners are well aware of the intentions, sex can be any of the thins mentioned in the article... It is when deceipt is involved that we begin to loathe that partner and the farce he/she led portrayed... But as long as each is honest, I hesitate to cast a curse on the folks behaving in this way.... I just can't imagine why they would do it, personally... It seems like a very lonely way to live.... Multiple partners seems to be the fastest way to be truly alone.... Just one person's perspective ...

I'd have to agree with the

I'd have to agree with the European ladies. Sex isn't candy. It's medicine. All men see women primarily as a means to a sexual end. Women are nothing more than "somewhere to stick it" in the eyes of men. at least there are people out there willing to call it what it is and not try to sugar coat it or deny or defend it.

The things men say and do show that this is the case, why wont they just admit it?

I am sincerely sorry that is your experience.

I absolutely assure you that your world view is not shared by everyone, nor is it even in the majority. Not all men are self serving. Not all women are disappointed in sex. "Why won't they admit it?" Fortunately because it just isn't the truth. I am sorry that it is yours.

Intercourse is just one form

Intercourse is just one form of sex, and I strongly disagree that it is the ultimate expression of intimacy. Many women do not enjoy intercourse as much as they enjoy oral or manual stimulation. I myself have about next to none pleasurable feelings being vaginally penetrated, and it can be simply uncomfortable and painfully boring. Because, here's the thing, female pleasure organ is clitoris, and not vagina. And this obsession with penis-in-vagina sex, and the idea that this is the only "real sex", is stripping women of their sexuality. And, after being with many young men, I can conclude, at least from my experience, that vast majority of them use foreplay for just vaginal lubrication, not mutual pleasure, and then just start thrusting away. And the thing is, I doubt such mechanic, boring, male orgasm oriented sex is beneficial to men, they miss out on all the fun.

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Isadora AlmanM.F.T., is a Board-certified sex, marriage, and family therapist, lecturer, author, and syndicated advice columnist of "Ask Isadora."

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