Sex & Sociability

Question and commentary on connections, both sexual and social

by Isadora Alman, MFT

Just Sex

Sex can be far more than a mere “just.” Read More

On Monogamy

Monogamists can be either born or made. Read More

On Birthdays and Ageing

Age is definitely far more than merely a number. Read More

Touch: Positive, Negative and Ambiguous

A welcome touch sometimes isn't. Read More

How Important Is Sex?

Would you have answered this differently 10 or 20 years ago? Read More

Sex and the Single Senior

How to keep sex in one's life after a certain age Read More

Relationship Instructions: The Care and Feeding of Me

How to let a partner know what you want and need Read More

Cheating

Be sure you and your partner agree on what cheating is. Read More

To Say or Not to Say

Think before you speak is almost always an excellent idea. Read More

Losing Charlie: The Pain of Parting

A personal elegy for a lost love. Read More

Why I Entertain and Why You Might Too

There are many reasons to invite others to your place. Some aren't obvious. Read More

Sexual Intercourse Is...What?

There are more reasons for and and ways to look at the act of sexual intercourse than one might think. Read More

Decoding Anxiety Dreams

Common reoccuring nightmares happen to most of us. What is your subconscious telling you? Read More

The Making of A Memorable Sexual Experience

That which makes a memorable sexual experience has several potential factors in common for us all. Read More

Finding a Date/Mate When You Are No Longer Young

Methods of looking, as well as who you're looking for, change as you age. Read More

Saying What You Like Sexually

Being clear on what you like and what you don't is usually worth the effort. Read More

Male Sexuality and Prostate Cancer

When a man is diagnosed with prostate cancer there are many changes he is likely to face within his body and in his relationship.. Read More

Jealousy, the Green-Eyed Monster

Is feeling jealousy a natural part of a loving relationship or are we just trained to expect it? Read More

Marriage Misery: A Personal Look at the Movie "Hope Springs"

Exploring the difficulty of a dispassionate look at marrital estrangement. Read More

Getting Lucky: The Uncertainty of Sexual Pursuit

No matter how we try to assure the result, seduction is fraught with ambiguity. Read More

Starting Again After A Sexual Lull

Getting back into the sexual groove after a time apart can be a problem rather than a joyous natural event. Read More

Couple Communication Styles: Tell-Alls vs.Say-Nothings

Many years ago my Master’s Thesis research looked at agreements couples make regarding sexual conduct outside their relationship. What I was searching for was some potentially workable model other than monogamy, cheating, or a wide open “anything goes” arrangement. Read More

Redefining the Idea of "Having Sex"

We’ll start with a basic definition: sex does not equal penis in vagina intercourse. I know, many people use the terms interchangeably, but if I suspect that’s what is happening in a counseling session I always ask the speaker to clearly define his or her terms. Read More

Is Your Spouse Really Your Best Friend?

Don't turn your coupled relationship into something it was never meant to be – a confinement in the name of an exclusive friendship. Read More

Did You Have An Orgasm? Did I?

Depending on whose statistics you believe and how they are gathered, anywhere from 30 percent to 75 percent of women do not experience orgasm through intercourse alone. General agreement puts the figure at “more than half of American women”. Read More

Troublesome Turn-ons

The possibilities of what turns a person on is limited only by the individual’s imagination. It is women as well as men, young as well as mature, gay, bi and straight, who have imagined some doozies with which to bedevil themselves. Read More

Learning Life Skills

The manila envelope that came in the mail contained 27 dutiful thank you letters from 9 and 10 year olds. As you might expect, they were enormously entertaining. Read More

Sex Symposium Snippets

The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, known as SSSS or “Quad S”, held its 2012 Western Region Conference in Los Angeles over a four day period at the end of April. Read More

What Is Bad Sex?

Overheard conversation: “Bad sex? I can’t even imagine what that would be. Any sex would be good sex for me at this point.” The speaker and her friends were laughing but, listening with a therapist’s ear, I could hear the despair. Read More

When the Attraction Disappears

Recently I had a reunion with an old friend. In the 1960s and 70s when this man and I knew each other we both had young families. The parents got along with each other as well as the children so the two families would spend time together at least once a week, often more. I harbored a mad crush on the husband so I looked forward to these get-togethers. Read More

Isadora Alman, M.F.T., is a Board-certified sex, marriage, and family therapist, lecturer, author, and syndicated advice columnist of "Ask Isadora."

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About Sex & Sociability

I write about social skills and sexuality, all under the umbrella of communications. Clear communications—with oneself first, then with others—is the basis for getting what you want out of life.