Sex Life of the American Male

How new technology, new mores, and current events impact male sexuality.

Male Sexual Fantasies and Masturbation

Research concludes there are gender-based difference in the masturbatory fantasies of males in comparison to females. Read More

heterosexual men wanting to be penetrated fantasy

This is very common, guys wanting to be probed by a vibrator or a dildo. A fantasy trend among middle-aged hetero males.

Whuh?

Where did you see that, in the issue of AARP Magazine with Brad Pitt on the cover?

A weirdly common one is guys

A weirdly common one is guys who want to do it 'gang bang' style with their buddies - basically having sex with each other vicariously via the body of some poor, unfortunate woman.

Group sex as male bonding.

Group sex as male bonding. It's kind of disturbing.

Oh, and lets not forget the

Oh, and lets not forget the whole 'hot twins' thing. Men getting off on incest. Good lawd, what next?

Fantasies

I engage in coaching for men who seek to address issues related to their sexuality. I only coach men 40 years or older because it is in this 'transition' or mid-life time of life when men have a history they can reflect upon and are more often than not ready or willing to explore what is working, what is not working, what they want in their lives to be authentic and true to themselves. I coach men who identify as gay, straight, bi, trans, married, partnered, single, polyamorous.

Fantasies play a major role in my coaching. Men have discussed with me their antasies around taboo subjects, kinky sex, homoerotic scenes, beastiality, gang-bangs, cannabilism, etc. Fantasies that may or may not be ever played out or lived in real time. But, they find in my coaching a safe space to explore the meaning of such fantasies, as well as the needs these fantasies are meeting in their lives. It is because most do not want to talk it out with a therapist or in any other 'public' fashion that men come to me.

Fantasies speak volumes about what a man needs in his sex life. He may or may not be able to find that need met in vanilla sex or even with the sex he has with his partner/lover/wife. This also speaks volumes about how puritanical our culture remains around sexual issues, and how much men are still limited in trying to fit gender roles assigned to them by parents, peers, and media.

We have a long way yet to go when men can talk with each other, or even with their sexual partners, about their fantasies without being shamed or made to feel guilty about even having such fantasies.

Maybe true for some, but not all

"We have a long way yet to go when men can talk with each other, or even with their sexual partners, about their fantasies without being shamed or made to feel guilty about even having such fantasies."

Maybe true for many, but certainly not all men. I can talk about anything sexual with anyone and feel no shame whatsoever. My only concern is making others uncomfortable.

Talking about our sexual fantasies

"Maybe true for some, but not all." I bet you are correct and you are one who can talk openly about your fantasies. Yes, whether or not the one you're talking with can handle such conversation is an issue! It's not safe to talk with just anyone about our fantasies, but when we can, it can be extremely liberating! It may even open the door for the one you're talking with to do the same! I still find that many men, those who come to me, have difficulty talking about their fantasies with their sexual partners, and that's why they are coming to me for coaching, among other issues. Too many, not all, men struggle to give voice to what they need, let alone to what they desire and yearn for! Silence is how we often were trained around sexual issues, and I'm not sure that this has changed for the upcoming generation. I hope so.

Encouraging others to open up

Those of us who feel comfortable talking about sexual fantasies can individually help others in this regard. More than once I've talked about fantasies in a very positive and enthusiastic manner, and others have joined in with their fantasies, both men and women.

Male group sex

There is nothing like the ultra masculine feeling of bowing your legs and jacking off with another guy..make us feel like MEN! We do it at my meetings twice monthly .http://www.daburghjacks.com/home.html

Male Sexuality

Check out my blog on male sexuality! Comments, suggestions, critiques are most welcome. www.transitionpower.com/blog

Hi.... Guys. Good evening.

Hi.... Guys. Good evening. First of all I would like to say that this topic very informative. But I would like to add some practical phenomenon on it. My name is Ms. Limma William. I am 27 years old married lady. One thing I would emphasis that Man or Boy should refrain from frequent Masturbation. The reason is not far to seek .. because the Sperm or semen of Man is very very vital and precious . You can not call as it only liquid but is very essential after all. I have read from many books that the sperm is contains a lot of Protein , vitamin , mineral and carbohydrate e t c.... Truly it has no alternative . And it is also considered as greatest boon by the GOD.... In my personal case I am very much worried about my dearest Husband... Because since my marriage to till today I have eaten sweety and cream sperm of my Husband. I am totally mad for His sperm.. I am habituated to suck sperm every day. Every body in my family knows that how thin and weak I was before marriage. My weight was only 40 Kg. Now I am 64 Kg within 2 years///// and definitely it is due to the precious and valuable sperm of my dearest Husband. On other hand guys are unlucky because they are weak and thin due to loss of huge quantity of sperm every day. Believe it or not this is the bare truth about boys masturbation and their sperm.. . That is why I never wasted a single drop of sperm from my Husband. But His powerful sperm is coming to my use.... So it is my sincere request to all guys please do not allow your partner to suck your sperm ..... otherwise you will be weak and thin. Thank you.

Use it or lose it.

Masturbation is an extremely healthy way to ensure one's genitals work and work well. The myth about saving your cum or else you will lose your virility is simply untrue! Tantric sex is another issue all unto its own. Squirting your cum, whether you are man or woman, I think, should be a daily exercise.

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Michael Shelton is a writer, therapist, and educator focused on male sex and sexuality issues.

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