Don't sneeze. There's a small piece of your brain in your nose. The olfactory cells in your nose are actually brain cells that have wandered far from home. They extend down from the olfactory bulb of the brain stem - a very primitive cerebral structure that has changed little in the past few million years, and which we share with lizards and other ancient creatures. This is why smells can be so evocative of non-verbal feelings and memories. We all know how a smell can bring back an entire experience from the distant past, or the indescribable feeling of a certain distant moment. Cosmetics companies spend millions every year trying to find smells that work to trigger these associations.
Perhaps this is why the sense of smell is so closely related to sex. Think of the richest, deepest smells you know: musk, jasmine, coffee, tobacco leaf, chocolate.... They are all sexy in some way, aren't they? What would you add to this list? If you're like most people I know, you'd probably add hashish, marijuana, and maybe an ex-lover or two.
We know why the ex-lovers smelled sexy (presumably because they were!), but why do hashish and marijuana smell so good? The answer to that question is all about sex. A warning: if you like marijuana, but don't like sex, or vice-versa, skip the rest of this article. If you continue reading, you'll never be able to separate the two in your mind again.
Marijuana is a very unusual plant. Archaeologists have concluded that cannabis was probably the first plant to be cultivated by human beings, some 10.000 years ago. Aside from its consciousness-altering properties, the plant provides edible oil and seeds, as well as some of the best natural fiber around. But despite this long history of cultivation, the plant has not lost its ability to return to a wild state at any time. Like a cat, it can get by with us or without us. Another unusual aspect of marijuana is that it is so unlike any other plant that for many years it was considered to be a monotypic genus. All alone in its own category. But perhaps the most interesting thing about marijuana is the plant's sex life.
There are plenty of articles about how people use marijuana to spice up their sex lives, but I'd like to talk about how people meddle in the sex life of marijuana. Every serious cultivator of ganga is interfering in the sex-lives of his/her plants as insistently as a mother-in-law sleeping on the sofa.
Here's how it works. The most important psychoactive chemical in cannabis is tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). There are other psychoactive molecules as well, but to keep things simple, let's focus on THC - which is by far the most important of them. There are small amounts of THC in the leaves of the plant, and virtually none in the stems and roots. The highest concentration of THC is found in the resin of the female flowers. All three species of Cannabis are dioecious - meaning that, unlike most plants, the males and females are distinct. Think about it, a rose is a rose is a rose. There are no male roses and female roses. You don't go to the garden center to buy a male or female plant, as if you were choosing a puppy. But with marijuana, gender is very important.
Distinguishing the premature males from the females is the first challenge for a novice grower. It's a challenge because you have to figure out the sexual identity of the plants before they actually begin to develop any overt sexual characteristics. This can be as difficult as telling a male baby from a female baby - with all it's clothes on - including the diapers. The reason a grower needs to make this distinction is that the male plants have to be removed from the garden before they become sexually mature. There can be no sex in this garden!
A resin-coated compound flower.
Remember, the highest concentration of THC is in the resin of the female plants. This resin is sticky, like honey, to capture the pollen of the male plant when it comes floating through the air and lands on the female flower. Pollen is analogous to sperm. It contains the genetic information of the male plant, and has no psychoactive chemicals at all. Calling high-quality hashish pollen, as they do in various parts of the world really makes no sense, since if it were actually pollen, it wouldn't be worth
smoking. In any case, this resin is what makes marijuana psychoactive. It is the source of most of the THC, as well as the source of that rich, sexy smell.
So the question growers ask is, How can we get more resin in our plants? The answer: female sexual frustration.
As the female plants mature, they prepare to be fertilized by catching some pollen. Once fertilized, they make seeds and begin to die (preparing for winter). But if they don't get fertilized because all the males have been removed, they produce more resin and more flowers. As time goes by and they are not getting fertilized, the flowers accumulate (forming buds, or colas), and resin continues to ooze into these flowers.
In addition to this sexual frustration, some growers claim that their female plants are somewhat masochistic as well. When the flowers are forming, they bend the branches to the point of almost breaking - but not quite. They say that this increases the flow of resin to the flowers.
So next time you find yourself in a marijuana garden (if you're the sort of person who does), remember that you may as well be in a women's prison. Those plants that smell so good are desperate for some loving and wondering where all the boys are. And next time you light up, maybe say a silent word of thanks to the sexy female whose unsatisfied
hunger smells so good and leads directly to your buzz.
----------------------
The latest news about Sex at Dawn is that we've just agreed to a publishing deal with a Spanish publisher—the same publisher who works with Frans de Waal and Robert Sapolsky, two of our favorites. This brings us to 8 foreign markets. If you're on Facebook or Twitter, you can join the daily conversation about all things sexual and prehistoric there:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/sexatdawn
or on Twitter: @sexatdawn
