Extramadura, which is kind of like the Kansas of Spain, has instituted a sex education program for kids between 14 and 17 that is—brace yourself—not freaked out about masturbation. In fact, the program suggests that masturbation might be a sensible way for youngsters to deal with their sexual urges. A decade and a half ago, then Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders suggested something like this and soon found herself out of a job.
Asked at an AIDS conference if there was potentially a role for masturbation in helping young people avoid high-risk sexual behavior, she replied, "I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught." For this utterly common-sensical statement of undeniable fact, the distinguished doctor was drummed out of public life.
Of course, Spain is still an overtly Catholic country, and the religious folks are shocked and outraged. By now, everyone knows that the Catholic church's approach to teen-aged sexuality amounts to an abusive mix of denial and exploitation. To describe their credibility as "compromised" on the issue would be laughably generous.
In a sign of the level-headedness that prevails in Spanish culture these days, school officials are uncowed by the outcry, saying that those who oppose the program are "uniformed" and are overreacting. In fact, the neighboring province of Andalucia is looking into instituting a similar program.
Meanwhile, in the real Kansas, a middle-school teacher has been fired for jokingly noting the similarity of Florida to a penis. When a student drew a map of the U.S. with a disproportionately large Florida, the teacher said the state "must be excited," which left the students in stitches.
End. Of. Career.
You can just imagine the school-board meeting where some insane blue-haired lady (or man) declares that "there's nothing funny about penis jokes in seventh grade." Except, of course, that in seventh grade, NOTHING is funnier than penis jokes (and blue-haired ladies [or men]).
Moving to university students, the religious community of Durham, NC is in an uproar over a Duke research project in which women (adult women who can drive, vote, go to war, have babies, and so on) are asked about sex toys. Heaven help us!
Father Joe Vetter, director of the Duke Catholic Center, said: "I think it can give the impression that the university is endorsing behavior that I don't think the university should endorse." He adds, "I don't think it's a good developmental practice to just tell somebody to just sit around and masturbate."
Well, why the hell not, Father Vetter? If the Catholic church weren't so pathologically opposed to sitting around masturbating, tens of thousands of boys and girls wouldn't have been victimized by twisted priests and their tortured libidos in countries all over the world. Frankly, the opinions of Catholic priests concerning sexuality are about as relevant as Khmer Rouge teachings on agrarian reform.
Keep it to yourself, father. If you know what I mean (and I think you do).
Update: I failed to mention that the Duke University study is being led by fellow PT blogger, Dan Ariely. A pretty good round-up of Ariely's background and research is here: http://scienceblogs.com/terrasig/2009/11/response_to_dan_arielys_...
