Hundreds of years of wheezing and sneezing made absolutely no difference: The lawyers were in and the cakes were out.

Smadar bakes desserts. Some, like her bite size cookies, come in a box. Some, like her American Airlines Arena cakextravaganza, come in a truck. Into every creation crafted in the subterranean ovens of Cookie Pursonality go countless details and immaculate care. Smadar loves what she does. She loves the people who crunch her creations, from Bill Clinton to Bruce Springsteen to the strangers who purchase online.

When a hotel ordered 100 carrot cakes for an upcoming convention, Smadar drew tight her apron. With usual gusto Our Mistress of the Mixers got to work, weighing, tasting, and pre-heating to 300 degrees. Off went the cakes to the convention.

It wasn't long before the cakes were returned. Reason: They were covered in coconut. Reason: Somebody at the convention had a nut allergy. Conclusion: No coconut-covered cakes at conventions.

Smadar was frantic. Please, somebody, anybody, tell them that coconut isn't a nut. Nothing helped. The hotel, substituting language for substance, held firm in its refusal.

The situation called for greater measures: It was time to call an allergy doctor, which was tasked to yours truly. As it happens, I had not too long before done a prostatectomy for just such a doctor. And so I called in a favor: Melvin, I said, please answer the riddle: Are coconuts nuts? No, they are not. We run a 40-man allergy group, each with an average experience of 20 years, and none has ever seen coconuts cross-react with nuts.

Freshly armed with actual substance, Smadar ran back to the hotel event planner. Do you think it worked? Did he buy the argument that an 800-man-year experience had shown that the allergens of coconuts do not cross-react with those of nuts? Not a chance! In his lawyerly-liability brain, it was enough that the "nut" in "coconut" cross-reacted with the "nut" in "pecan," "walnut," and "almond." The cakes were summarily re-re-re-refused.

With a heavy heart Smadar threw 100 delicious carrot cakes smothered in coconut into the trash. The lawyers won as conventioneers lost. It may have been compliant, but it tasted like crap. And now you know why convention food tastes like was cooked by committee. And why at next year's convention you will be signing informed consent before dinner.

If you suspect you have a medical problem, don't consult your lawyer: Consult your doctor.