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Why can it be so hard to make the life changes we seek? Because we think about the idea of self-help in all the wrong ways, and it comes back to haunt us when the going gets tough. Read More
What is a Guru?
Sam as you know I have read and loved Situations Matter, I think it's an important book that coaches should read. But I also think you have a blind spot, maybe even an axe to grind, that isn't based in science or hard evidence, but personal irritation.
You keep referring to Guru's and I'm not sure who these people are. I could hazard a guess, but I won't go there. Sure thee are some high profile self development people who are well known that make ridiculous sweeping statements and I for one wish they wouldn't.
However, there are plenty of coaches and self development writers that agree with your take and realize that all this stuff is highly contextual and subjective. I go to great lengths to remind people of this on my blog. This is how it is for me today, but hey, it could well be different for you depending on any number of things. Don't take my word for it, try it out.
I know you are trying to make a point and it has merit, but as you say, when your book has self development on the back, it almost comes across that you're saying you are the only person that gets this in the industry.
It's not a dig, but as somebody that tires of the whole Guru thing because it's completely arbitrary and not open to investigation, I think the only way we can eradicate it and change peoples perception is to do what we can do rather than knocking 'invisible' people.
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Tim, I think we're coming at these issues from more or less a place of agreement, as you and I have discussed previously. Perhaps it was a miscalculation in the post not to be specific in terms of attribution-- I'm not quoting an invisible strawman here, but rather taking those questions directly from Dr. Phil (and in my book, the related analysis is much clearer on that point).
By no means would I suggest that I'm the only one who gets these issues, nor am I actually in the industry. In fact, I make sure to point out right from the prologue that mine isn't a self-help book. And while I don't object to the label "self-development" at all, I'll also note that that description isn't coming from me either-- actually, you *won't* find those words on the back of the book (at least not the copy sitting on my desk right now!), apt though they may be.
My reservations concern the sweeping generalizations you reference, which seem to get far too much play on TV and elsewhere. And in condensing that argument down to blog post form, perhaps I expressed that inartfully/imprecisely. So thanks for the comments, and for getting the discussion going.
I agree Sam that on the whole
I agree Sam that on the whole we pretty much concur. I get very concerned with self development bloggers that do what you talk about. And yeh, Dr Phil is definitely one of my pet peeves for his overall approach which is more about showmanship than helping people make lasting change.
Unfortunately, even though I occasionally rant about it on my blog I'm not sure what can be done because people are attracted to a quick fix that so many people are prepare to offer. Sometimes in good faith it has to be said, but sometimes just to make a fast buck.
Anyway, thanks for responding and I wasn't having a go at you, I just want people that 'get this' to be as specific as possible so those that read it know exactly what we're talking about rather than presuming that every person who is successful in self development is a Guru and thus bogus.
BTW, my copy does say self-help on the back, but maybe they changed that for the published version. Having said that, it definitely can help people help and develop themselves, so there is that ;-)
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Absolutely, Tim. And all good! I enjoy the back-and-forth.
"I know you are trying to
"I know you are trying to make a point and it has merit, but as you say, when your book has self development on the back, it almost comes across that you're saying you are the only person that gets this in the industry."
Well said, Tim.
Sam, perhaps you could ask yourself what really motivated you to write this post.
Well said Browson. I recently
Well said Browson. I recently finished reading SITUATIONS MATTER and I agree that people can change depending on different contexts. But I was not convinced by the assertion that there is no core self. I think behavior varies depending on different situations although not as dramatically as the book suggests. There are certain inherent characteristics and qualities in people that don't change regardless of the context.
There are too many gurus dispensing advice without any scientific basis but there are some out there that really know their stuff.
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