Science Of Small Talk

The science of social behavior, one interaction at a time
Sam Sommers, Ph.D., is a social psychologist at Tufts University. See full bio

Comments on "Consequential Conversations, Part III"

Consequential Conversations, Part III

In November of 2006, a Cape Cod jury returned a guilty verdict in the murder trial of Christopher McCowen. This was supposed to be the final chapter in a murder drama that had captured attention regionally and nationally. But within days of the verdict, three different jurors came forward with concerns about the jury's verdict as well as the process by which it was reached. Read More

Irrelevant Comments

Dr. Sommers,

Can you clarify something? You said people don't include info they deem irrelevant. But, (in my experience) often times when someone is telling a story or relating something that occured, they will vear off trying to nail down some specific that has no relevance to the jest of the story.

For example, instead of simply saying "last week" this or that happened, they will think aloud trying to remember whether it was actually on a Tuesday or a Wednesday that the event took place.

How is this different, or the same, as what you are talking about in this post?

Thanks,

Kim

response

Hi, Kim. So the idea is that we, as speakers, typically include in our statements information we deem relevant to our conclusions. When we violate that norm, our conversation partner is surprised and the discussion can become awkward. If someone is telling you a story about spilling her cereal all over the place, and she keeps going out of her way to tell you it's the "blue bowl" she was using, it becomes confusing at the end when you realize it didn't matter what color the bowl was. You might ask, wait, why did you keep telling me the bowl was blue? So, sure, we often go off on tangents. As many of my students can attest, doing so seems to be an unavoidable component of my teaching style. But when your hypothetical storyteller searches for the right day instead of just saying "last week," I think it's reasonable to conclude that she either thinks 1) it'll matter to your ability to really "get" the story, or 2) remembering which day it was will help her get the rest of the story right. And I suppose a third option is that it just bugs us when we can't remember something, so she might spend a minute trying to get the right day before saying, "sorry, I guess that doesn't matter" or "never mind; whichever day it was, the next thing that happened was..." To answer your question more directly, if you asked a storyteller who was searching for the right day of the week to explain why he was doing it, he'd either explain the importance of knowing which day it was for the purpose of the story or apologize for the irrelevant diversion. The jurors in question didn't do either. They didn't apologize for the irrelevant, tangential thought. And they denied that it was an important aspect of their statement, claiming instead that it was a simple descriptor of the defendant. That makes little sense given that no such descriptor was needed-- everyone knew the defendant was big and Black.

Response

Hey Dr. Sommers, thanks for your reply. I am kind of 'cut to the chase' type person. I am guessing in my example, most people simply want to get the story right without thinking about whether it's an important detail or not. I see how this differs from your defendant example. Interesting.

Kim

If Tufts ever kicks you out

If Tufts ever kicks you out as a professor, you could have a lucrative potential career as a crime novelist. This has been a really gripping series of posts thus far. I cheated and read ahead after Part I (thanks, Wikipedia!).

Aren't you *not* supposed to verbally fence with the attorneys on cross? Still a funny retort though.

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