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Science Of Small Talk

The science of social behavior, one interaction at a time

by Sam Sommers

Sam Sommers, Ph.D., is a social psychologist at Tufts University. See full bio

September 22, 2008, Social Life

Comments on "''I don't think we're supposed to be talking about this...''"

''I don't think we're supposed to be talking about this...''

By Sam Sommers on September 22, 2008 in Science Of Small Talk

Q: “I haven’t seen the new guy at the office yet. Do you know what he looks like?”

A: “Oh, he’s about my height, broad-shouldered, mid-30’s, dresses really well, always smiling... also he’s... (voice lowered to a whisper) Black...”

There is a growing trend in America today, especially among White Americans, to embrace the idea of literal colorblindness when it comes to race relations... Read More

I heard this posting was good

Submitted by John Adams on September 22, 2008 - 4:48pm.

unfortunately, I could not read this because I could not distinguish between the black text and the white background.

We should embrace our need for diversity

Submitted by Anti-globalist on September 23, 2008 - 12:47pm.

It's no use ignoring differences, we must recognise them and implement "parallelism" to protect diversity.

Always comes down to respect/ love.

Submitted by karenbf on September 23, 2008 - 1:56pm.

I find it's best to recognize a person personally, accurately and/ or how they prefer to be recognized. Usually that include a person's abilities or job, where they can be found, uniqueness in dress, and what's both good and true about them and their appearance.

I attempt to find complimentary ways as possible to make a statement, and there's no rule that says you can't learn and rehearse nicer ways of describing using sensitive [taboo] representations:

I.E about 'Sue's' height, pinker cheeked, charismatic, sizable, slender, fair skinned, having a few or many freckles, very dark complected, Asian, Native American, etc., wearing 2 days' beard, bringing a walker, using wheelchair transportation, expecting medi-cab, or naming the persons nationality if known and appreciated. I have worked with a few Jamaican people, and found it much more comfortable using/ adding Jamaican as a descriptor, because its original rather than catagorical. Catagories are limiting. I do NOT enjoy catagorizing anyone, and avoid it.

But when you need to involve appearance to help you describe identification then by all means don't leave out the skin tone. It is usually relevant and effective. A person of whatever color IS a person that of that color. It's part of his or her identity. In almost all cases, an individual will feel appreciative being recognized as who they are. ~ k

Classical Conditioning

Submitted by Michael on September 26, 2008 - 1:17pm.

It no surprise whites would be Leary of acknowledging race, when it against social conventions to do so. I have seen many parents tell young children they should not ask questions about color or race.

but why, and at what cost?

Submitted by Sam Sommers on September 26, 2008 - 4:31pm.

The key question, in my opinion, is *why* is this against social convention? Why would it be deemed inappropriate to use race as a descriptor, especially when it's a disambiguating characteristic? And what is, then, surprising is that there are unforeseen negative consequences of avoiding the acknowledgment of race. I agree-- I, too, have seen many a parent shushing a child for mentioning race. Tune in next week for a new post on that very topic...

So, Only Whites Asked Questions?

Submitted by Alanna on May 6, 2009 - 11:28am.

You report that 67% percent of the White participants in this study asked about color when with a darker-skinned partner. What are the percentages from the other direction? Was the study only interested in how Whites act? Or was it simply impossible to recruit an equal number of Black undergraduates? I would be interested to know if Blacks are as uncomfortable asking about race in this circumstance.

Even in the further studies discussed in the paper, it seemed to always be "about" Whites. Would reactions have been different with an all-Black cast, in addition to the all-White and interracial ones? Or is that not interesting?

reply

Submitted by Sam Sommers on May 6, 2009 - 11:34am.

No, it's absolutely interesting. But you're right-- the study only looks at one half of the equation, focusing on how Whites navigate this task. The question of how Black participants (and members of other groups) would do so is one best answered by a study able to recruit larger number of Black respondents than we were able to.

But I can offer a preliminary answer, which is that in our pre-testing we had several instances of Black participants in the role of Questioner. They didn't tend to show the same tendency to avoid asking about in race. In one particularly memorable interaction, a Black male paired with a White female began laughing half-way through the study. Afterwards he explained that he just couldn't believe how hard she seemed to be trying to avoid talking about race.

Other studies we've run since have also supported the notion that these efforts to appear colorblind are often viewed negative by Black observers, especially when race is clearly a relevant issue to be addressed in the situation.