Verified by 
A prominent view in psychology is that our emotional lives are shaped by our values and appraisals. Emotions typically occur with evaluations of events that tell us how significant the events are in relation to our goals. For example, Emily admires Eric because he is generous. The knowledge of this value (generosity) is the basis of Emily’s emotion (admiration). Mary’s anger toward her partner is a judgment that she has been offended. For this reason, a common reply to anger is “Don’t be so judgmental.” If there is no appraisal of harm or benefit, no emotion will result. Emotions provide us with cognitive access to our values and desires. For example, anger provides information about the violation of one’s rights. Happiness tells we are doing well and fear warns us of danger. The concept of appraisal provides insights into the individual differences in emotion reactions. Since goals and values differ, so will the meaning attached to a given event.
Emotions differ from physical sensations in that emotions typically require cognitive appraisals. In contrast, pleasure depends heavily on bodily stimulation (e.g., eating or otherwise stimulating the body). We can diminish negative feelings with booze without altering the content of thought. In fact, people use drugs in part to increase positive emotion or alleviate negative emotional state. For example, alcohol consumption and binge eating are often seen to cope with anxiety, sadness, and boredom.
Emotions are relatively transient. What comes up often comes down. A typical emotional response involves a quick rise lasting for a few minutes and then followed by a relatively slow decay. For example, anger usually last for more than a few minutes, but rarely more than a few hours. Thus, an effective response to transient emotions is the use of accepting attitude without attempting to alter or suppress them.
But, people tend to mispredict the short duration of emotional experience. One of the reasons for adolescents’ high risk for suicide is because when they feel pain, they lack the life experience to know it is temporary. If emotions provoke knee-jerk reaction, it may sometimes be difficult to reverse. When young individuals join a terrorist group in a moment of passion and later want to leave it, they may find themselves trapped (the option to leave is no longer available to them). Had they been able to anticipate the impermanence of their passion, they might have abstained from joining the group.
The appraisal aspect of emotion suggests that our emotions are not entirely beyond our control. They do not just happen to us, but we are responsible for them. Our ability in managing the flow of thought and emotion contributes to happiness. We create paradise or hell in our own minds. We interpret everything we see or hear in terms of our habitual thinking or prior experience. For example, if a person you know passes you in the street and you smile and wave, and the person makes no response. Your emotional reactions depend on the story you tell yourselves. If you interpret that you have been ignored, you may feel angry. If you say that you must have upset the person in some way, you may feel guilty, and so on. Several different interpretations for the same set of facts are often possible, and our choice makes a huge difference in how we react. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking make it so“, says Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Thus, an emotion is a special kind of thinking about what we make of an event.
We can liberate ourselves from destructive emotions such as anger and disappointment by developing a capacity to choose how to interpret and evaluate the situation (when angry, take the other person’s perspective). Psychopathology could result from failure to regulate automatic negative habitual thoughts and emotions once they erupt. Poor self-control or deficit in emotion regulation (lacking cognitive flexibility) is a risk factor for drug abuse and eating disorders. Indeed, learning to tolerate or accept negative affect as it is, and focus on problem solving are important skills for the treatment of addiction.
Our inability to control emotion relate to our limits to control our beliefs and thoughts. However, we can take steps to alter our attitudes and the corresponding emotions. Therapy, education, and self-control are tools used to shape our emotion and behavior. For example, we teach children to be grateful by saying “thank you.” By habitually practicing a new attitude, we can foster a new feeling or overcome a pathological emotion (e.g., anger). An important aspect of being human is the ability to engage in reflective, controlled behavior. Reflective processing allows freedom of choice and free will. Psychologically speaking, free will is the perception of choice, agency, or self-determination. By exerting free will, the person expands his options and freedom. When feeling free and self-determined, we generally flourish. Evidence shows that people with a strong sense of personal control smoke less, make more money, resist conformity, and delay gratification. Lack of confidence in free will is like being deprived of freedom to explore. Believing that things are beyond our control is a recipe for helplessness.
