Science and Sensibility

I think I learned the hard way most of these techniques. I know my responsibility to protect myself and discern what is up to me fixing(my own reactions, my own self-control) and what is beyond me(others actions).
But I think the problem recurrently is my 'will to persist'. Once I reach that point where I'm just too tired it's very hard to repress negative thoughts and self-defeating thinking. I find that what helps in such cases is some instant 'external help', talking to someone of trust or finding a way to leave the toxic place and head somewhere else, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty :D If I can't do any of those things... than I can only pray, even though I'm an atheist.. :)

Leonardo, your comment on seeking “external help” is sage advice for people in toxic work situations to consider; also, anyone facing an extra-ordinary stressor.

I suspect some will see the wisdom of seeking external help. Here are some thoughts in support of that view and in response to questions you raise.

Few people are prepared to go through life as lone, long-distance, runners. Having a social network that includes some empathic rational people can be a big plus, especially when in a toxic work situation. A great strength is to know when to confide in a knowledgeable person(s) you can trust. This can be considered part of a process for developing confident composure.

New ideas can come from people you trust, or from anywhere else. A helpful perspective that you hadn’t considered can liberate you from a funk. Sometimes you’ll hear an idea that is like a light bulb going on in a dark room and you see things more clearly than before. You may pick something up from a casual conversation, a novel, a news show, overhearing a conversation that evokes a helpful perspective. Sometimes out of adversity comes inspiration for trying different ways, or for shifting paths.

I agree with psychologist Albert Ellis that it is in our human nature to think negatively as well as to think with a realistic sense of optimism. The negative comes easy. Realistic optimism is often the byproduct of extra steps to seek new understandings, facts, and that ethereal state we call truth. This process of developing a realistic perspective also involves suspending judgment when you are no sure.

Objective self-observation skills are instrumental to understanding the nature of unrealistic thinking—especially the double-trouble kind. This starts when you think about your thinking and connect the dots between what you feel and what you do. But objective self-observation goes beyond that basic prescription. What are the recurring patterns in your life? Which lead to the proverbial stone wall? What patterns work for you that you can advance? Reasoning things out can help deflate the importance of relying on erroneous negative thinking as a reality reference.

I know this is not so easy to accomplish as it is for me to describe, but accepting erroneous negative thoughts as transitory also can help alleviate a double trouble about having such thoughts.

A will to persist presents its own challenge. I’ll expand on that aspect of confident composure in an upcoming blog on the anger-depression connection and how to break the link and lower your risk for both conditions.

Shaking up and changing a corrupt regime is another alternative. But this path is not for the faint-of-heart, or for those without adequate resources, or for those who lack leadership skills to muster, organize, and direct such resources.

Again, thanks so much for reminding us all that we live in a social world filled with knowledgeable people, some of whom we can trustfully count on for support.