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A new report by the Pew Research Center shows that all parents, regardless of political views or educational background, agree that “hard work” is a trait they want to see in their children. But a deeper look into the report shows that parents differ on how they rank other traits known to encourage hard work.
In the Pew survey, a total of 815 parents were asked to rank the top three qualities that they thought were the most important. Hard work was one of the top three.
However, in highly educated households, 13% of parents ranked “persistence” as the most important value in child-rearing. Yet only 8% of non-college graduates ranked it as an important value. “Persistence” in pursuance of a goal, regardless of the challenges, is also known as “grit”.
In the area of obedience, only 5% of parents with a college degree ranked it as the most important value, compared to a staggering 16% of parents without a college degree. Obedience is connected to a child’s compliance with demands.
Additional research from The Learning Habit research found that children with “grit” (persistence with long term goals) are 40% more likely to have emotional balance and 60% more likely to get good grades. That translates into overall happiness, educational and career opportunities, and greatly increased chances for strong relationships.
The Learning Habit research study found that parents who focus on compliance are the more likely to “lash out” at their kids by yelling and punishing. When parents demand obedience and limit choices, children do not develop an emotional attachment to their goals, making it unlikely that they will persist when faced with obstacles.
Taken together, these results capture the intensifying disparity between college graduates and non-college graduates in the area of parenting style. While all parents may value hard work, college educated parents are focusing on a key traits which contribute to hard work in children.
These findings spotlight the need for parents to ask themselves a simple question when a child begins their formal education. “What is my educational goal for this child?” If college graduation is a goal, parenting styles may need to be adjusted.
Rebecca Jackson is the co-author of The Learning Habit: A Groundbreaking Approach to Homework and Parenting that Helps Our Children Succeed in School and Life
