Have you heard the Buddhist saying that life is made up of Ten Thousand Joys and Ten Thousand Sorrows? I don't know why I find that maxim so comforting during those times when my life is a struggle. Maybe it's the realization that we need to accept the sorrows along with the joys and that it's the drive to live a life without the rough parts that causes us so much pain. If we expect that life will bring struggles, then we won't be so insulted when they arrive.
I believe that happiness is a choice. If we wait for conditions to be perfect for happiness to come, we're sunk, because embedded in the perfect condition, is the seed of the realization that it won't last. The trick is to look around you, right now, even as you're reading this, and let yourself feel happy just to "be". Sit at the breakfast table, with your slippers and newspaper and bowl of cereal and, maybe, cat at her bowl of milk, and feel the tranquility of that simple moment. It's there for the taking. It may be hard to locate that feeling of contentment, but the more you look for it, the more it will become visible.
Vikki Stark, M.S.W., is a family therapist, educator and director of the Sedona Counselling Centre. She authored Runaway Husbands and My Sister, My Self and on CJAD TalkRadio 800 Montreal and the Kim Fraser Show.
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