Sapient Nature

Thanks for the article Dr. Raghunathan! Very interesting and thought provoking. Important lessons to be learned here on how to enrich your life.

I found this article very interesting! I remember at one point in my life I hated Japanese food - now I love it :-)) I have to wonder now if it was just due to greater exposure to it.

Good article Dr. Raghunathan. From personal experience I know it to be true and the steps advised to be effective. Been using this for a long time and have enriched my life since.

However here are my two cents. The steps and the desired outcome (of liking initially disliked stimuli with repeated exposure and thus improving one's enjoyment / experience of life) will not work for ego-threatening stimuli- no matter how innocent and harmless the stimuli itself is.

Take for example my own experience with social drinking. Living in a large city, working with MNCs I know that it is a big advantage if I partake of alcohol socially. I have repeatedly faced social difficulties when my not drinking any alcohol causes embarrassment to my bosses, colleagues, clients, dates, friends etc. When the entire group has a glass of wine/ beer/ single malt/ whatever; the odd woman stands out unnecessarily. My friends do not make a fuss of it anymore, even though they have repeatedly offered help with experimentation. Being an open minded person in most spheres of my life, i have tried many options available over the past 3 years- a long time for repeated exposure without success.And since most people in my family enjoy alcohol, I doubt am carrying a "gene" that is contributing to my distaste.

Here is what i think the reason is. At some point in life I decided that alcohol= bad= not me. This is now part of my self image/ definition/ value set. So even when my "adult" recognizes the usefulness of partaking some alcohol, my "child" wont let me.

Your thoughts?

Enjoyed the article a lot, and it's premise hinting so delicately on the ideation of letting go on one's inhibitions, or repressions from the subconscious level, in order to gain the any sense of happiness, culture, enlightenment, or nirvana. All his examples in psychology language, or tongue seems to replicate the teachings of Buddha. Nothing wrong with that at all. Nonetheless, just a pleasure to read such comparisons with the vintage text meeting modern thought in the process, called truth.

Thank you for your comments, Solomon! I do believe that the tenets and recommendations of the wisdom traditions have, well, a lot of wisdom in them.

Thanks for such an interesting and thought provoking article.

I think I will now see things in a different way...

However, I have a question.

There are things for which I never developed a liking for, though I tried them....

And I consider it to be just normal.

And there things for which I stopped enjoying them

I used to be passionate about watching NFL games. Now I barely watch the Super Bowl.

I used to enjoy playing soccer. Now probably it's been 10 years since I don't kick a ball...

Thanks for bringing up the two points. The idea of familiarity leading to enjoyment is a general principle that works on average, and can sometimes not work.

As for stopping to enjoy some things, that's happened to me too (my interest in Cricket has waned). But I don't know if this is true for you, but a big reason why this has happened with me is because I no longer connect with the characters involved in the sport. Once I get to know the characters, I am sure I will be able to get back into it again. In other words, I am no longer familiar with the players (which is more important); I am merely familiar with the rules of the sport.

As for not enjoying playing a sport (or an instrument or a hobby), there again there's an added layer of complication. I don't know why you don't play/enjoy soccer anymore, but perhaps its because the others you used to play with don't play it anymore? Also, soccer is largely a younger man's game, it seems. One's game deteriorates pretty rapidly after 30. (In contrast, I think tennis or golf are more "forgiving". So, you could try those instead.) Perhaps you don't like soccer as much anymore because you are comparing where you are to where you used to be?

Dear Dr Raj,

Thanks for your answer!

You know, you are all right and probably it happens to me a very similar thing.

Now you mention, I stopped watching NFL games because I realized it is all business, it is all about money. You know, all advertisement, all propaganda, all mechandise. Teams buying players, rich guys buying teams. You know, as I grew older I realized money somehow perverted sports. Though I can still be able to enjoy a good match, somehow it is clouded by the fact that it is 99% money and 1% sports. Probablys that's why I sometimes watch more of college american football than professional NFL games, eventhough I don't care who wins or loses.

As for soccer, probably yes, as im about 40 years old, I think my interest are more on the side of being relaxed and at home and that's probably because my body is no longer in good shape so I get tired easily and have not much interest in getting my good shape back.

Probably Im becoming more intelectually oriented than physically oriented and this might be as a result of my own body telling me: "Im not in good shape and it will take you lots of time to get me back in good shape so you'd better do something else"

That's it. As for tennis, hmm, probably! But perhaps Im more interested in playing pool, billiard, you know, you can have a good conversation and drink a beer or two while you play! Is it because Im getting older and my own body and mind demands me to do things suited to my needs and capabilities?

Anyway, this is a great topic and you seem to master it great!!

Although the saying, "familiarity breeds contempt," suggests that we 640-802 learn to dislike familiar stimuli, scientific results suggest the opposite: we develop