Statistically, there is a greater likelihood of abused children becoming abusers as adults. Yet, overcoming bad parenting in all its forms is so much a part of our spiritual maturity. May I suggest that properly applied narcissism is good?
To make it a point of pride, of vanity, to act better than we ourselves were treated. I was recently discussing the subject with Zen Dharma holder Jules Shuzen Harris (see: youtube.com) in terms of students in Zen overcoming negative examples of teachers they have come in contact with. All we can say is: Yes, you are right, people should behave better. However, there is a difference between the practitioners of a way or an art, and the way itself. It is difficult, because for a long time we need exemplars of good behaviour to help us. "I can break through because I saw that person break through."
In times of great negativity, our response must be to struggle for purity all the more. For the bloggers, the response to strange, destructive and negative comments must be to strive for beauty and purity with a greater intensity.
Yes, statistically abused children tend to become abusers more as adults, but we must strive to become a hero in the face of this negativity. When those on the spiritual path fall down, our response must be to separate the teacher from the teaching. I am a stranger to the formal path of Zen, but in investigating America's first African American man to receive dharma transmission, I have come across some difficult issues in how teachers and leaders in spiritual paths have succumbed to weakness. Our response, Shuzen Sensei and I agree, is to strive for a greater depth. To say: "I am going to be better than those guys."
