Riding the Alligator

Thank you for all you are doing for these women and girls. As a victim (70's - 80's) I can't tell you how glad I am that people are finally taking this seriously.

In 1987 after a suicide attempt, I was thrown into a foster home in another town, accused by social workers, psychologists, police officers, and the D.A. that I must be lying. ALL of my family turned on me for trying to destroy our family and for of course being ungrateful. They beat me down and broke me. I went back until I could get out at the age of 17. (It started when I was about 6)

GOD BLESS YOU, AND KEEP FIGHTING

Dear Tracy, we don't know each other. But I can tell you what I felt when i read your blog. Absolute pride.
I am SO proud of you for writing what you did.
Within the words of your blog lay so MANY things unsaid. So very many experiences not shared. So many things you hold within. And that's okay. Because you opened the door. If only a crack. With that crack, the Light will flow in and shine on your pain and experiences.
I think you will be able to tell your story for the help of healing others, as well as yourself.
I commend you for writing what you have.
I am awed and astounded at your strength and survival.
God Bless you.
Kathryn

Tracy, I'm in tears. Thank you for writing something so profound, so enlightening, and so powerful. I am always more and more saddened to hear of a child's innocence taken, as if it means nothing. I'm not a survivor of any type of abuse, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate or be touched by your effort. Keep up your excellent writing and your encouragement to bring those who are silent "to the other side". I look forward to reading your book. Sarah in Colorado.

I know you have and will continue to make a difference in our mad world! Thank you for your story...

People that have never been abused, that have felt safe, secure & loved their whole lives have NO idea how much going through these kinds of abuse as a child alter everything about you. They are quick to dismiss and judge. Quick to say that it's a misuderstanding or an exaggeration on the child's part. I was told that if I told ANYONE the same thing that happened to me would happen to my little sister.

Every time I opened my mouth it felt like I would start screaming and never stop. Since I could not allow the truth to come out and hurt my sister I simply stopped talking. I did not talk for years, not in school, not at play, not anywhere. I still find verbalizing difficult. I have been in different abusive relationships my whole life (I'm 42) and it's only the last few years that I've learned how to speak up, how to say no, how to protect myself. Just writing about this is causing severe panic attacks!

People just don't understand any of that unless they've been through it. They expect a child to be able to do something that many grown adults cannot do without YEARS of healing and therapy.

Thank you for being 'our' voice. Thank you for being there to help. Thank you for facing your fears and most importantly thank you for helping to educate others so that more of 'us' can get the help we need if/when we find the courage to tell!

The femnist movement has missed the mark. Young girls (future women) are being silenced in such a way that all of the past gains by the femnist movement can disapper in coming decades. Why? Because girls/women are desparately crying out for something far more substantial than what is currently on the femnist agenda. The girls (by the millions) are hurting and being hurt in the worst sort of way. Where is the outcry by femnists? Where is the help the girls so desparately need? Where is the grassroots organizing that can bring this sexual molestation of young girls to a grinding halt? If women don't help women, who will? If women don't take care of the little girls, who will?

Thank you Tracy for your story and thank God for the women officers at UC Berkley who broke the Jaycee Dugard case wide opem. Let's do this same thing for the other girls who are suffering.

I have been overwhelmed by this story in particular. The long saga of a society that reveals 600,000 released predators, how does this violence and mental illness get addressed? The sicknesses that lead not only to the violence but the captivity and obvious mind control of a young vulnerable human being is obviously beyond our ability to handle,,,, you are a possible link to help...do not give up,,,i have been a nurse for 40 years and i may never know the lives i have helped, but with god's help , i kept trying, Do not give up , you are not alone. God Bless and Keep you.

I am one of those you speak of. Kidnapped around the age of 4. Raised by a pedophile/serial killer. Never able to get away until I grew up. Now for over 20 years I have been trying to get LE to listen to me with no success. Had my DNA drawn and sent to CODIS to try and find my family. This year it is ONE YEAR from the date it was taken and no results yet! The system does not help children FIND THEIR WAY HOME! If you are a victim of so much try not to wait too long because it is a longgggggg road trying to get help! Your article was posted on the Site Peace 4 the missing and that is where I saw it. I posted a blog on there about Jaycees situation too. Similar to what you said I tried to explain why someone does not try to get away. I hope you read these. I would love to email and share with you my experience. I am glad that you survived and went on to overcome and make a difference. Have a great day!

FINDMYWAYHOME

Sometimes even when you do tell, nobody listens, because they don't want to hear it. Like Courtney said, if people have always felt safe and loved they just can't believe anyone who says they've experienced abuse. I've had lots of therapy and while I've come to terms with my abuser, I've never been able to let go of the feelings of betrayal by the people I trusted to tell my story to, who didn't believe me. Would anyone have believed Jaycee if she had told? Has Morgan, who would be 20 now, tried to tell someone and not been heard? It wouldn't surprise me.

I have heard this over and over: "Why didn't she tell anyone?" Now I have an answer for them and a source to send them to. Thank you Tracy.

I'm sure that the damage of child sexual abuse are complex and different as are the cases of the people are. For me I can give you a brief time-line of my childhood abuse.
Ideas have consquenses or Laws inform consciense allowing people to do evil and train themselves or other people to do wrong(freud)being subjective and somewhat different to culture e.g food laws some people can eat meat others can't. My mother was driven by both anger at the abuse she endured as a child and no-one cared to take grandfather to task for it!And possible trained in it by the abuse which was never re-trained by love and good ethics. So at age 9 or 10 I was sexually abused by her, which was swept under the rug she died a year later. I was left with pat answers to it never happened, your crazy, get over it. But thats another story Jacyee's case I think is she was brain-washed and fear, shame, gult, threats and she probally even thought it was her fault and she was a bad person. This poor girl will most likely have a bad image of God or alot of anger at God for allowing the abuse in the first place. She was a child who needed to be a child and needed love and support from people around her. If she was subjected to continued false information them over time she might have even be asked if she was abused and she perhaps given the No because she was so controlled by those horrible people who Knew exactly what they were doing I am so sorry for these people and all the silent victims of sexual abuse who forget (repression) which never helps or just are afraid to speak out because no-one cares

I'm sure that the damage of child sexual abuse are complex and different as are the cases of the people are. For me I can give you a brief time-line of my childhood abuse.
Ideas have consquenses or Laws inform consciense allowing people to do evil and train themselves or other people to do wrong(freud)being subjective and somewhat different to culture e.g food laws some people can eat meat others can't. My mother was driven by both anger at the abuse she endured as a child and no-one cared to take grandfather to task for it!And possible trained in it by the abuse which was never re-trained by love and good ethics. So at age 9 or 10 I was sexually abused by her, which was swept under the rug she died a year later. I was left with pat answers to it never happened, your crazy, get over it. But thats another story Jacyee's case I think is she was brain-washed and fear, shame, gult, threats and she probally even thought it was her fault and she was a bad person. This poor girl will most likely have a bad image of God or alot of anger at God for allowing the abuse in the first place. She was a child who needed to be a child and needed love and support from people around her. If she was subjected to continued false information them over time she might have even be asked if she was abused and she perhaps given the No because she was so controlled by those horrible people who Knew exactly what they were doing I am so sorry for these people and all the silent victims of sexual abuse who forget (repression) which never helps or just are afraid to speak out because no-one cares

As a prosecutor of child abuse and sex crimes in NYC for the past decade, I have often encountered children who were sexually abused and delayed in disclosing. The abuse often continued and escalated in the wake of their silence. Many parents do not understand how or why a child remains silent in the face of continued abuse. They liken it to when their own child falls in the park and scrapes a knee. Surely that child runs over to the parent and shows them the boo boo. Of course, they reason, if someone were sexually abusing their child, the child would run and tell them right away. However, when a child scrapes a knee in the park, presumably there is no one telling that child "Don't tell anyone, it's our secret. Don't tell, no one will believe you. Don't tell, they'll say it's your fault."

There are a lot of emotions involved when a child is sexually abused- confusion, fear, embarrassment, guilt, shame - the list goes on. We need to understand why children are not disclosing and work towards prevention.

To that end, I wrote a book to teach children ages 3-8 if someone touches them inappropriately to tell a parent or teacher right away. "My Body Belongs to Me" is now available in bookstores nationwide and at www.MyBodyBelongstoMe.com

The book contains a "Suggestions for the Storyteller" section to guide the parent or educator in the discussion to follow. It is a vital tool that can facilitate a lifesaving dialogue. Talk to your children now about their bodies and together we can stop the silence.

Tracy, I am so proud to be able to call you a friend. You are an amazing woman!

My God, what a powerful post. Ertl covered so much horrific ground in so relatively few words.

"This is the craft of a child molester. To separate the victim and make them dependent. When I was younger, all we did is move. There was never time to bond with anyone. There was never time for people to know us for long enough to see that something was very wrong."

I think this applies to so much, not just child molestation. We see it in abusive relationships of all kinds: between spouses, lovers, even bosses and employees. The abuser assumes the role of both tormentor and savior. Without him/her, the victim would be lost, abandoned, friendless. "No one else wants you, so be grateful I've taken you in." In the world that the abuser seeks to create, the violence, mental and/or physical, is literally natural; it's part of the order of things. Either the victim brought on him/herself, or it's an expression of the abuser's love and desire. So get used to it. Actually, appreciate it.

I look forward to "When the Easter Bunny is Naked". I expect it'll be harrowing, but enlightening and rewarding as well.

Tracy,

As always, you are an eloquent speaker for those with no voice. May your words help draw out more and more of those who have been silenced by abuse.

I'm SO proud of you, friend! You have walked an amazing path of recovery and offer hope to those just beginning that walk.

First let me say that Terry Probyn (Dugard) ad i went to school together and have remained friends since. It's been many years since we last spoke, i believe Jaycee was 5 years old at the time, and a very smart 5 year old at that.
Everybody focuses on Jaycee's 18 years in captivity as her window in which to escape. I see it differently, more realistically. Jaycee's oldest daughter was born when Jaycee was 14 years old, and assuming that she was pregnant at age 13, i believe thats when any thoughts towards a possable escape attempt would have come to an end. although a very freightened young child, having been forced into motherhood, yet she still put her childs well being before that of her own by choosing NOT to attempt an escape. That may very well be the deciding factor as to how Jaycee and her daughters became the world wide news were all reading about today.
From the day of her abduction until she became fully aware of her pregenacy, thats the window of oppertunity for her to escape....2 years......and lets forget, those would have been her most fearful years. Unsure of her fate, as im sure any of us would have been.......I believe she did what was in th best intrest of her and her daughters.

God Bless You Jaycee,

Mark Kreider

Donate to help Jaycee Dugard and her daughters overcome this nightmare!

http://helpjaycee.blogspot.com

my criminal complaint. It makes me so upset, I don't even have the energy to begin explaining it again right now.