Resolution, Not Conflict

Are gut intuitions enough to decide the big question, Is this The One, my real true love? Here's five short tests to help you assess if a person who feels like a marriage candidate would be a good choice for sealing the deal as husband and wife. Read More

When couples start with different cultural backgrounds, their his-way, her-way expectations can lead to misunderstandings and quarrels. Differing views about the about boundaries between what should be kept private and what are legitimately public aspects of their lives can prove especially sensitive. Read More

While people may label anxious feelings stress, fears, worries, tension or "my nerves," the feeling of anxiety is an unpleasant one. To escape anxious feelings, it can be tempting to try to distract yourself. In fact, directly addressing the situation that's stirring up anxiety problems is usually the fastest route to ending the icky feelings. Read More

In my practice as a Denver psychologist, anxiety problems rank among the most common presenting issues. At work, people may call the feelings stress. In relationships, couples label anxiety as tension. Fortunately, at work, home, or elsewhere, understanding the habits that exacerbate anxiety can launch you on a pathway toward feeling better. Read More

Studies continue to show that marriage education courses significantly upgrade a couple's chances of enjoying a long and strong relationship. With effective apology, emotional self-regulation, communication and conflict resolution skills, couple partnerships are more likely to thrive. Read More

Leonardo Niño Rodríguez, a journalist in Colombia South America, recently interviewed me for a state-of-the-art assessment of couples therapy. The four questions he asked me on behalf of readers of SEMANA Magazine, the leading Colombian news magazine, struck me as questions that may be of similar interest to readers of PsychologyToday.com. Read More

Gaining an adult’s perspective on the childhood relationships that formed templates for your marriage relationship can be very helpful. Journalist Elizabeth Weil's candid new book No Cheating, No Dying relates how she and her husband learned from their pasts to enhance their love in the present. Read More

There's many signs, including absurdly broad usage of antidepressants, that college students these days seem to be struggling emotionally. I recently forwarded the link to a particularly worrisome PT posting about depression on college campuses to an Ivy League student friend of mine. Here's what he wrote back to me. Read More

There’s a revolution going on in the world of healing emotional and also physical distress. The revolution hinges on a remarkable discovery. We all can access far more knowledge, including self-knowledge of what we need to heal, than most of us ever have believed we can know. Read More

Individual therapy is often helpful. A therapist can provide emotional support and guidance for changes. But divorce can be an iatrogenic (therapist-induced) side effect of individual therapy for married folks. Read More

What seems like bad luck or self-defeating choices may stem from the subconscious workings of a phenomenon that therapists are just at the very beginning stages of recognizing and treating. Read More

What separates world-class performers from everyone else is how they practice. Here are the keys to becoming far better at whatever you love doing. Read More

Parenting, someone once said, is the art of getting kids to do what you want them to do, and getting them to stop doing things you don't want them to do. These three ways of playing can fill your basket of parenting tricks with potent fun strategies. Read More

Try reading this story to your children if they sometimes make too much noise. Your discussion afterwards should be interesting. The story was written by a five-year-old boy who was trying to learn to tame his volume. Read More