Repairing Relationships

Building intimacy and joy into your relationships

Why Do Women Love the Bad Boy?

Why are women drawn to destructive men? Read More

So it's the media's fault?

I guess before movies and TV were invented, women were not attracted to "bad boys?"

How, then, did the "bad boys" of previous eras get to pass their genes on to today's "bad boys?"

Perhaps it's a little more complicated than that? I know, maybe it's the media AND the liberals too!

DroneDad, did you miss the first two paragraphs of the article?

How did you miss the study that was cited and this line: "Society used to take this natural destructive tendency into account and promote a type of courtship that emphasized substance over style"? And do you think Bad Boy behavior is genetic and not learned?Professor Katherine Heintz-Knowles study indicates it is the latter.

Women are 2 million years

Women are 2 million years behind in the mate selection ability. They're still looking for the biggest, meanest, hairiest monkey on the savanna.

These guys learn the bad boy game because they know that they can sucker the dumb ones into some free sex.

Women that love bad boys are damaged goods. Leave them to the dysfunctional men they love so much.
They are headed for either tragedy or bitter loneliness and no man should get their stupidity rubbed off on him.

Men love bad girls -- but we don't fall in love with them.


You can speak for all men and have known all women. It's amazing.

thank you for your inane

thank you for your inane input.

Let's not generalize

Some women are attracted to "bad boys". Some men are attracted to "bad girls". All women do not march in lock step to this type or that, just like all men don't.

Also, let's not create a picture of the past that never existed in reality. By today's standards, most men who lived in more brutal times would be classified as "bad".

To present "bad boy" image as a modern creation is naïve. Just take a look at classic literature.

Yet you just did.

We will address your objections in a future blog entry.

Which "bad girls" are men supposedly attracted to?

Criminal conduct in women is not attractive to men.

Attractive enough women get some man/men to do all their dirty work and criminalizing for them. Almost by definition a woman who has to do it herself isn't attractive.


Hmmmm, would I rather have a hot young man with chiseled features that has a charming personality and is devoted to his wife, or a crotchety fat old geezer that spends his life shaming women and demanding they mimic a Stepford wife?

I'll take Mr. Meeks any day.


Obviously, you are clueless as to what the bad-boy is all about. It is hot young man with chiseled features and charming personality that is NOT devoted to his wife; but is shaming women and demanding that they mimic a Stepford wife. If you would read the articles here on Psychology Today about Borderline Personality Disorder, you'd hear the horror stories that women are telling about their gorgeous husbands that are demeaning them is so many subtle ways, including the occasional beating. It is tragic. And from how you sound, you are next in line for that kind of treatment.

That ugly, crotchety fat geezer… He's a hard worker that dutifully takes care of his family. He may not be exciting, but he is dependable and will protect his women to his last breath.

Attention Must Be Payed

America has it's eye on foreign terrorists.
Little do you know of the potential violence that
exists right here in the U.S.A.
There are 1000's of sex starved "good guys" that are all
set to become bad boys-but NOT in a way to tickle your
fancy. They will grab whatever weapon they can and back
shoot college girls like Eliot Rodgers did.
While you celibrate bad boy scum,these meek good boys
will gain power through the barrel of a gun.
Visit some of their internet sites and see for yourself.

So true

Those self-proclaimed nice guys are ready to revolt. They ladies must give them sex or they will become men going their own way and refuse to marry. That will teach those evil women! Eliot Rodgers, their hero.

Yes, lets fear and hate all

Yes, lets fear and hate all of those sex / love starved young men (you forgot to add "white") because that will solve the problem.

What a stupid fearful person you are.

Women that run after the 'bad

Women that run after the 'bad boys' generally have low self esteem and daddy issues.These wunderkinds will also refer to men of an upstanding moral and good nature as boring...or slag them with the ol sexist beta male' gloss.Thats the way it is but i shouldn't have to convince you that the sky is blue.

resourceful nice guy

One must not forget about the resourceful sweet / nice guy. The Sweet / nice guy is sometimes the one who gets a woman's attention after she has been used by the bad dudes. She sees in the sweet / nice guy a more reliable prospect for a longer term relationship she may crave. But, the resourceful sweet / nice guy understands this and will use the 'long term relationship' tactic to achieve sexual intimacy. However, the resourceful sweet / nice guy really has no intention of a long term relationship, but will stick around as long as the milk's free so to speak. Once the milk dries up, or the commitment issue materializes, he moves on. He sees vulnerability in the woman used by the bad boys and uses this to his advantage. Their is no intention of commitment on the part of the sweet / nice guy knowing that he was chosen second behind the bad dudes. Just observations, no science behind this, and of course no generalizability to the male and female populations.

Smart man -- why should he

Smart man -- why should he commit to some woman that let herself get used up by a bunch of slobs?

She let herself get used, she's has no one to blame but herself. But you feel your entitled to a "nice guy" to come along after the party and help you clean up and pay for the mess.

The woman you described has gotten just what she deserves. She hasn't earned the right to a loving long-term relationship.


The truly sweet/nice guy does

The truly sweet/nice guy does not use any woman. You are merely describing a bad guy pretending to be a lamb all the while he is really a wolf underneath. Sorry, not buying it.

Reform Is Possible

Spiritual self insight cures a mulitude of sins.
Male or female, nobody's perfect, and we all must
reform from SOMETHING.
To forgive, means to live in the NOW. Plenty of men
have had relationships with women with "pasts," (Even
"presents.") and the relationships can work.
The Empress Theodora from the Byzantine Empire was a
former prostitue, who used to engage in exhabitions,
where she had geese eat grain from her vagina.

Geese----Wow what a great

Geese----Wow what a great catch she was!

I think this new trend that attempts to shame men into accepting the pasts of scuz-queens is total bull.

You can have the slobs, I only want a woman that has shown some restraint good judgement and self respect.


Some Women Are More Passionate

Marylan Monroe and Natlie Wood would be called
"skanks" if they were just regular woman.
Many of the female "stars" like Lindsay Lohan have
been with plenty of men-and women. Such women would have
no problem getting any man they want.
If not having a "past" is an absolute requirement you'll
be a very lonely guy. The most charasmatic women have pasts.

The women you mentioned were

The women you mentioned were in no way long term relationship material.

I would like to meet a woman that's not a self serving, evil whore ..., I guess I'll just have to be lonely because that's all there is.

no one wants women like that

no one wants women like that that's why the first two were murdered and the last one is f'd up beyond hope.

yes they can get any man for sex, but no one loved them.


Lindsay Lohan will bang a 1000 guys and then die of an overdose -- great examples.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You may quote other posts using [quote] tags.

More information about formatting options

J.R. Bruns, M.D., is co-author of The Tiger Woods Syndrome, a book about repairing relationships.


Subscribe to Repairing Relationships

Current Issue

Let It Go!

It can take a radical reboot to get past old hurts and injustices.