Repairing Relationships

Building intimacy and joy into your relationships

The blogs do it too Dr.

The blogs do it too Dr. Bruns. The internet is awash with self-styled dating gurus that tell their readership that you mustn't wait to have sex or the man will get cold-feet (3 dates is a max otherwise you're immature and manipulative). There's no talk of taking the time to assess character and personality. It's all "are we attracted to each other and are we sexually compatible". They talk, in all seriousness, about the need to test-drive sexual partners like cars. But people aren't cars, they're people, with emotions and feelings and sex isn't cool and detached like driving a car, it's an act of communication between two people.

Then they have the naïveté to wonder why they're single after approaching every other person with selfish desires, only looking out for what they can get from them, never what they can give to another.

The people who peddle this stuff are selling snake oil and it'll all end in tears eventually.

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J.R. Bruns, M.D., is co-author of The Tiger Woods Syndrome, a book about repairing relationships.

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