Dr. Peggy Drexler reported this week in the Huffington Post of a study on married couples conducted by AARP which confirmed previous research dating back two decades that in two out of every three marriages that last over twenty years, the wife is more likely to initiate the divorce than the husband by a resounding two to one margin.
The question is, why do married women wait so long to abandon the sinking ship? The usual reason is that the poor quality of today's mirage marriages may be hidden from view for years as the couple distracts themselves with the hustle and bustle of raising a family on two incomes. The cheerleader and Little League practices, AYSO soccer Saturdays, Scouting and Indian Guides, PTA meetings, carpooling and the general pandomonium of children underfoot can mask a basic disconnect for years. When the kids finally leave home and retirement nears, the long-standing problems of a couple who based their relationship on physical attraction, charm and approval-seeking may become too much to ignore. Wendy Crisp, spokeswoman for the National Association of Female Executives, describes this Day of Reckoning:
"If you never really liked each other or have nothing to share, you have to basically reach agreement that a significant portion of your time will be spent doing separate things...Separate things could mean separate bedrooms."