Repairing Relationships

What you describe are couples that follow the path of least resistance.
They don't decide to increase their commitment to each other by moving in together, it just happens.

You can make things happen in your life by mindfulness, goal directed behavior, and commitment or you can let things happen in your life by 'seeing what happens' or by acts of omission (not choosing, committing, deciding). It isn't limited to romantic relationships, the same thing happens in people's work life and in their educational pursuits and even their health and eating habits.

Some people live charmed lives and slide into situations that bring them joy and happiness, still I think the odds are so much more in your favor if you take a more active role in how your life unfolds.

Inertia is a new concept we haven't heard much about in romance. That is a great point you are making that couples should consider being proactive instead of letting events and people beyond their control or even laziness determine their relationships.

Ive been here, its a strange one, I did believe it would lead to marriage eventually but it never happened and I always had a sense of something missing, Im working on my own intimacy stuff and hope the future brings something more emotionally satisfying.

Dr Jay spoke of the human condition. So many times we fall into something instead of choosing it.

You are right on the money with this article. I'm concerned especially for childbearing-aged women who think that a live-in arrangement leads to marriage. Cohabitation puts women in a position where she loses her "bargaining" power--not a good place to be in. She winds up waiting and wasting time. What is good today, won't necessarily be good in 10 years.

I agree too many young women move n with too little thought and intentionality. Yet i am wondering what 'bargaining power' the women lose?

I think the issue isn't living together, but sliding into it. Letting it happen versus making it happen.