Repairing Relationships

Building Intimacy and Joy into Your Relationships

Social Media & Online Dating Scams Steal Hearts and Cash

Protect yourself from the Romance Bandits!

In this era of instant relationships, many people are being defrauded by wolves in sheep's clothing. Criminal groups are prowling internet dating and social networking sites, setting up fake identities and pretending to desire a romantic relationship. According to  Colin Woodcock, Senior Manager for Fraud Prevention of the Serious Organized Crime Agency, "The perpetrators spend long periods of time grooming their victims, working out their vulnerabilities, and when the time is right to ask for money." 

The first academic study of the scale of online romance scams by University of Leicester Professor Monica Whitty and University of Westminster Professor Tom Buchanan found that in England alone over 200,000 people had been victimized and that the crime is under-reported due to embarrassment. In 2010-2011 alone, the National Fraud Authority reported 592 victims and almost 40% had been defrauded out of at least $8000 in American dollars. If the target has no money the criminals persuade them to allow use of their bank account to facilitate money laundering.

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Professor Whitt noted, "It is our view that the trauma caused by this scam is worse than any other, because of the 'double hit' experienced by the victims—loss of monies and a 'romantic relationship'."

http://www.soca.gov.uk/news/357-romance-scams-200000-british-victims

The only way to prevent such exploitation is to reject the practice of using artificial intimacy and approval seeking to create relationships with virtual strangers. Don't tell your life story to a friendly stranger you meet on the internet. Dishonest people want to build an irresistible momentum that drives the initial romantic relationship by creating immediate mental intimacy. It not only leads to superficial unions but opens you up to exploitation by thieves. Keep your boundaries and you'll keep your wallet! 



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J.R. Bruns, M.D., is co-author of The Tiger Woods Syndrome, a book about repairing relationships.

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