College coed Mary Lane has penned a controversial and challenging blog on going bikini-less this summer: see catholicexchange.com.
Mary brings up a key concept for women wanting to know how to have a healthy relationship with a man. So many modern romances are predicated on pure physical attraction. If men are objectifying your beauty, they are not going to "be present" with you. They are going to be drawn toward making the relationship work even if they don't share similar interests or have compatible personalities. Any superficial congruencies in beliefs, interests and goals will be seized upon to justify the tremendous sexual attraction they feel for you.
When Mary writes, "Wouldn't you rather have a guy paying attention to the conversation he is having with you- instead of struggling to control his glances?" she captures the essence of healthy dating. Instead of allowing overwhelming physical desire to drive the relationship into the realm of deception, women can take concrete steps to emphasize the real courtship that promotes open communication. The superficial qualities of looks that fade and charm that grows tiresome and trite are much less important than one's character and shared interests in developing an intelligent, long-term, committed relationship that may lead to marriage.
