Repairing Relationships

Building intimacy and joy into your relationships

The Ideal Marriage

The ideal marriage is possible for everyone.

The Ideal Marriage would be based of healthy courtship instead of artificial intimacy and approval seeking. It would be under the companionate marriage model where both partners would experience a mutually satisfying, personally fulfilling, ongoing romantic relationship.

In The Ideal Marriage there would be no defined duties. Roles would vary or be negotiated between both partners.

Due to the honest basis of the union, there would be no peak stage  and the inevitable  disillusionment after the stage honeymoon fades. The marriage would be distinguished by true intimacy between both partners. The union would be  based on a day-to-day romantic relationship over duty. Both partners would expect it throughout the life of the marriage.

The relationship would as a byproduct fulfill the patriarchal marriage goal of perpetuation of the family through the generations by procreation if both partners agree to that goal during courtship. Economic success would be achieved by both partners or either partner choosing to be in the role of "breadwinner." The success of the marriage would eliminate the economically debilitating effects of divorce/alimony/child support.

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J.R. Bruns, M.D., is co-author of The Tiger Woods Syndrome, a book about repairing relationships.

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