In the third stage of Tiger Woods Syndrome the man chooses between their old life and the new romance based on artificial intimacy (physical attraction and charm) and approval seeking. For many men this is an easy choice because their old life was a mess.
Such was the sad case of actress Brittany Murphy and Simon Monjack. Simon Monjack left behind quite a checkered past. He never told Brittany about the two children he had fathered from two prior liasons. According to US Magazine, he also left behind two warrants for his arrest in Virginia for alleged credit card fraud and theft, an unpaid $6087 legal bill, $20,000 in unpaid debt to his former fiancee, a half million dollar judgement against him by a British investment firm and a stint in jail for overstaying his visa.
If poor Brittany had known of his past, she would have understood his sudden desire to get married to avoid deportation. If she had known how he told his prior fiancee he had bought her a diamond ring but it was actually cubic zirconium, she would have known to stay 10 miles away from this deceptive man. Unfortunately, in the third stage of Tiger Woods Syndrome small details like a criminal record and deceit are ignored as the relationship builds momentum leading to the peak known as the Honeymoon stage. Cautions from friends are ignored as the couple becomes increasingly isolated. This works out perfectly for the sociopaths and con men.
In an earlier America, courtship was used to link honest men and women of compatible temperaments and shared interests and weed out mismatches. There was no need for guile, for withholding the reality of each other until some far-off day after irreversible commitment was made. It seems hard to believe, but once upon a time Americans did not fear the truth.
In the 1800s, the prospective bride and groom were integrated into each other's life. If one could not abide the friends and relations, it was considered proof of incompatibility and the relationship would be terminated. That was the point of courtship. Instead of dating like an ostrich with one's head in the sand, the fact that two people might not be compatible for a lifetime commitment was faced with eyes wide open. Early Americans knew that a person's friends were a mirror of their true self.
This common sense approach to courtship and marriage was lost in the early-twentieth century American zeal to be modern. We saw an example of this with Brittany Murphy. Within weeks of beginning a new relationship with a virtual stranger she was living together with him and ignored the warnings of her friends and relatives. Only 5 months after beginning to see each other they shocked friends and relatives by marrying in a private home. Only then did the real Simon Monjack begin to emerge. Ladies, love at first sight is a myth. Get to know your man before you have to bail him out of jail and pay off his debts.
