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Imagine you’re suffering from guilt – the eating you up from the inside out kind. You’ve done something wrong, something objectively morally wrong, and it’s causing psychological turmoil.
You need to know how to resolve it effectively, right? Therapy can help with that. Movies can too; especially movies that thoughtfully discuss the topic, and present complex, grounded characters actively struggling with and overcoming this sort of dilemma. “A Place Beyond the Pines” is one such film.
It’s a three-story film and I’m going to hone in one the middle story: It’s about a cop, Officer Avery Cross, who, in a moment of panicked pursuit, unnecessarily shoots and kills a bank robber named Luke Glanton. In the aftermath of this tragedy, Cross predictably proceeds to experience guilt - a lot of it. To handle this unwanted emotional burden he engages in some strategies that are effective, and some that aren’t. When it comes to guilt resolution, it might be helpful to know the adaptive courses of action.
Here are some therapeutic ideas to consider: First, you have to recognize that you are experiencing guilt (it’s a very tempting emotion to disavow). And once some brave introspecting produces an awareness, acknowledgement and acceptance of the nasty feeling, you have to approach it and let yourself feel it enough to learn to tolerate it. Once you can tolerate it you can listen to it effectively. This is emotional intelligence 101.
Emotions compel us to action, and you want to make sure you’ve thoughtfully and accurately received the signals that your psyche and body are sending you, and you want to make sure that you select a behavioral plan of attack that is goal-oriented.
The goal depends on the emotion and when it comes to resolution of guilt the primary objective is forgiveness. To reduce guilt you have to forgive yourself, right? After all, you really only have two choices (which you can think of as end points on a spectrum) when you think about it. You can hold on to the guilt, or let it go. You can free yourself or mercilessly condemn yourself – it’s a choice, and it’s a choice that gets made with actions and intentions.
This second phase of the guilt resolution process (with emotional intelligence being phase one) is about exhibiting a strong work ethic in constructing a vital and values-driven routine. Let’s call it behavioral intelligence 101.
There’s an invisible script of sorts to be followed. Healthy, resilient people follow it intuitively, and for those who run into trouble - like Cross and perhaps most human beings - therapy and movies like “A Place Beyond the Pines” can provide some much needed reminders and pointers.
As you watch this film you’ll likely find yourself demanding that the Cross character admit to himself the harsh truth that when he killed Glanton with a prematurely fired bullet that he failed to protect and serve on a profound level. This is felt deeply by audience members and in a gradual, inconsistent but earnest way it’s experienced by Cross on screen.
Phase one complete.
Next, you’ll find yourself yearning for Cross to seek out and find opportunities to ‘right the wrong.’ And you’ll likely cheer when he embraces the consequences of his actions and dedicates himself to a career of public service. And because you’re cheering you’ll notice some of the details that helped to nudge him through successful completion of phase two – namely, how he turns to his father for emotional and pragmatic support, and how he identifies signature strengths within him to complete his mission for moral repentance (it is only because he feels bad about killing Glanton that he starts to look around for ways of enacting positive change, and it is only because he starts to look around in this way that he realizes that even if he’s a subpar cop, he’s a really good politician). Phase two engaged.
Cross, like most flawed and conflicted protagonists, is inconsistent and inefficient in pursuing healthy guilt resolution. The film, thus, shows the maladaptive strategies as well, the consequences to failing to follow the script. You’ll notice how Cross kept the sense of guilt a secret from his wife, and how they eventually divorced. And, later in the film, you’ll recognize the emotional wall of resentment that Cross erects between himself and his son as a reflection of incomplete self-forgiveness (Cross feels bad that Luke’s son – similarly aged to his own – is growing up without a father; so as an emotionally negligent father he ensures his own son suffers a similar void in his emotional life. Consciously, this life choice to be a bad father makes little sense, but unconsciously there’s a sense of justice to it that his unresolved guilt enjoys). Healthy messages that are relayed through these plot points are that keeping secrets erodes intimacy, and that failing to spy the remnants of guilt produces unconscious, counter-productive motivations.
I believe we can use films as an implicit learning process. For instance, I think that when we sit down to watch “A Place Beyond the Pines” our minds end up processing a story and experiencing an emotional roller-coaster that allows the adaptive and maladaptive responses to guilt-inducing tribulations to marinate. We are innately designed to move in healthy directions, and digesting such emotionally-charged guilt-and-forgiveness scenarios within the cool detachment of a movie-viewing experience, allows for the healthy scripts to be clarified and cemented.
Then, when shit hits the fan in our own lives we’re more ready to access the adaptive strategies. Researchers have highlighted the same process with sleep (dreams/nightmares have been hypothesized to function as a practice ground for us to fine-tune and sharpen our survival skills), and I believe film can play a similar role in our psychological health and well-being.
And for those of you who like to view ‘scripts’ in list-form, below is what “A Place Beyond the Pine’s” has to say about resolution of guilt as reflected in the story of Cross:
When you feel guilt, explore whether or not it’s justified
Confront the ‘crime’ head-on
Acknowledge the failure (the event causing the guilt) and validate the difficult circumstances surrounding the failure (be a friend to yourself)
Know that you have to feel the guilt before you can let it go
Find creative ways to apologize
Find meaningful ways to ‘right the wrong’
Seek out social support
Keep an eye out for the insidious re-emergence of guilt and be aware of the logical consequences
