Let's back up for a second. Lebron James is the most talented player in the NBA - by far. After the self-involved way in which he informed the public of his decision to change teams (a perfectly understandable decision to make) and the rather loud way in which he predicted a Miami Heat dynasty (a perfectly logical thought to have), he became the most reviled player in the NBA - also by far.

After losing the championship in Game 6 by the skin on his teeth, Lebron James emerged from the locker room for the customary post-game press conference, and initiated an interaction with a social force (media-fandom) that has shaken and shackled his inner world for almost a year.

He told media-fandom to get a life, and he said it in a way that seemed petty and arrogant. At least that has been the perception.

In that "moment" the question that media-fandom couldn't help but wrestle with, a question that many of us likely generated an instantanous response to, was this: what's with the lack of emotion, Lebron? Again, the mainstream interpretation seems to have landed on pettiness and arrogance. Lebron doesn't care - about the loss, and about his relationship to media-fandom. That's why he told people to get a life, and that's the reason that he didn't show emotion. If you have already disliked Lebron, or want to dislike Lebron, you will be tempted to connect these dots.

But let's be careful. What's happening here is that an explanation (he doesn't care) is being attached to an observed behavior (his lack of emotion). It's also an assumption (we can't read his mind to know what he was actually thinking) and, more than that, it's an absurd assumption that doesn't hold up to two seconds of mildly intelligent inspection.

Lebron James' lack of emotion only seemed petty and arrogant. Why? Because he said upsetting words with surprisingly stoicism, and it went against expectation. What was expected was emotional vulnerability. Coming so close to winning such a coveted award, while under such intense scrutiny, has to be agonizing to even the most robotic of humans. Lebron James has to have been feeling dejection and sadness stemming from the on-court defeat, and he has to have been feeling anger and resentment stemming from the off-court criticism.

And, yet he gave us nothing. But it was not because he doesn't care. If you were to take even two minutes to read Lebron James during a press conference, or observe the in-between moments of a basketball game you would come face to face with a man who cares as much as anyone - about everything.

He didn't show any emotion, because that is the response the media-fandom has elicited. If you want emotion, you have the set the stage to cushion vulnerability. It is not easy to express emotion, especially negative emotions like sadness and anger, especially on national television, and especially in front of a social force that has done nothing but criticize, judge, over-analyze, and speculate mercilessly for an entire NBA season. Lebron James was guarded. He protected himself from being emotionally vulnerable in an environment that has utterly failed at being open-minded, understanding, accepting, non-judgmental, kind and gentle - the elements the set the stage to cushion vulnerability.

Here is the tie-in to therapy: Setting the stage for vulnerability is not easy. It's what therapists spend most of their time doing, and it remains a challenge for even those who are really good at it. Good luck changing your half of the relationship media-fandom, you've got a long way to go.

Here is the tie-in to movies: Why was the media-fandom disappointed? Again, there was an expectation in the air of grace and humility in the face of defeat, and open, honest and moderated expression of emotion. In other words, there was the expectation for Lebron James to offer the perfect psychological response. This expectation of perfectionism is pervasive in our culture, because we see psychological perfection from admirable protagonists in inspiring movies. But by its very perfectionistic nature it is a completely unfair and impossible standard when applied to actual human beings. Especially for people like Lebron James who were cultivated in a celebrity-culture (and problematic family system - from what I hear) that denied him the social, emotional and cognitive skills needed for a psychologically sophisticated and impressive response.

My advice to Lebron James: When you awaken tomorrow to an unprecedented degree of public scrutiny and criticism you can thank movies (for the unattainable expectations and negatively biased interpretations), and turn to aid from therapy (to be more effective at being vulnerable, and less effective at being guarded)