In the last two posts I have written rather humorous aspects of my personal experiences being diagnosed with ADD and the dangers in marriages. In response to my perceived levity I have received responses that these approaches were not appreciated as much as I enjoyed writing about them. Hopefully, I can correct the perception that these and other personality factors related to the issues with ADD are challenging and sometimes overwhelming, but I suspect that the humor may be part of the issue as well as well as one problem in marriage relationships as well.
I think it is well documented that the mind of someone with ADD has a very active imagination, likely due to the consistent theta frequencies in the frontal lobe and is the frequency in which people are very suggestive in a "hypnogogic" trance. One of the major challenges for staying in this state is that you have trouble standing in the focus mode and concentrating on the reality confronting you. You are more often than not in wonderland in your own fantasies while everyone else studying the multiplication tables or geography. This is the downside. This is why my wife has to ring a cow bell to get my attention and continually ringing it every 15 minutes or so.
The upside is that we love to use our imagination. Our inventors historically have been noted as having ADD symptoms, such as Thomas Edison, Elbert Einstein, Bill Gates, and others. And in each case, formal schooling was a problem. It is also a direct implication that "shamans" and some sensitive physicians have the same talent. Shamans are the spiritual leaders of various primitive tribes around the world who search for cures for their ailing patient through their dreams and altered consciousness. It is said that they have one foot in this reality and another in another reality so they can bring back healing rituals and wisdoms from beyond. I have observed these guys work and in some scientific studies have demonstrated some good results, but I am not making a case for shamanism, just that a rich imagination helps in some professions.
It is always interesting to me that many executive training is directed toward thinking "outside the envelope," while therapy for ADD is to think "inside the envelope." It is the same brain frequency that signifies the ADD syndrome that these trainers are striving for.
Comedians are the best examples of the richness of seeing two realities at the same time. After all, that is the definition of humor. Two women go to the zoo and become infatuated with a large gorilla bouncing around in his cage. They must have gotten too close to the cage because suddenly the gorilla grabs one and pulls her into the cage with him and has his way with her. Finally she is rescued by the zoo officials and rushed off the hospital. The next day her friend visited her and notes how depressed the patient is. As the friend tries to comfort her, she says, "It is so frightful that this wild animal was so crude to you, and I know you are very upset and traumatized."
The patient turned her with the response, "Yes, he doesn't call, he doesn't write. It is like he doesn't care anymore."
This joke is similar to the form of most humor. There is the shaping of one reality, the one most people would naturally assume and understand, then the punch line takes a radical shift in another reality perspective and we laugh at the contrast. We are fooled and we usually delight in the shift. Comedians count on this format to fool us so we can laugh, even at dark jokes, as long as we feel safe and not abusing our ethics. Of course, there are different kinds of humor. Back in the 60's Raymond Cattell, a very famous research psychologist, developed a humor test that purported to measure some personality traits by what kinds of humor we appreciated. I remember one interesting trait was "anger directed." This was defined as a person who appreciated humor with anger directed toward a group or types of people as a way of expressing their own anger.
The explanation I am suggesting is that many people with ADD symptoms may be "afflicted" with this ability to see two realities or sides to a point of view with a humorous point of view. As I point out the serious side of problems to marriage issues in ADD, I am using my own perspective of humor. This may not be the best solution, and not everybody can appreciate my humor and assume I am making light of the situation. That is a danger I have become aware of for many readers who don't see the funny sides to these sides. Humorists, like Will Rodgers, Molly Ivins, and Art Buchwald, fit into that special category who could make us laugh at ourselves, our government and even at the insanity of politics. I think these people would fit into the ADD category, but have no evidence.
I guess bottom line is that my posts are not intended to offend or belittle our issues with ADD, but to bring a sense of humor to the whole situation. Marriage relationships with an "ADDer" often begin with a lot of fun and creativity. The spontaneity and romanticism makes everyone real happy; however, this ceases to be fun when other forces of need come into play and demands for traditional thinking becomes the mode. What a joke someone has played on us.
