I recently had a really severe chest cold - my physician said it was practically walking pneumonia. I tend to work a lot, which I justify by the fact that I am a psychologist and that my patients come first.
We all know that in order to take care of others one must first take care of himself. In any case, I had to go on prednisone because I have a history of asthma. Well, as many of you know, steroid drugs are wonderful for inflammatory conditions, but they can take you on a roller-coaster of emotions - a fairly well reported side effect.
In the process I lost my sense of smell and taste completely, and when you put that together with a case of "rolling" emotions, you just don't think logically. I started making deals with God. You know, "God please if my taste and smell return I will take better care of myself - I won't run myself down, I will diet, I will exercise more, I will take supplements, go to bed on time and do more yoga" etc. etc.
I then launched into a state of anger. "Why me? I am a good husband and father, pay my taxes, obey traffic laws, I don't smoke - WHY ME!!!"
Well, I finally realized I was going through what many people with an addiction go through (after all addiction like walking pneumonia is an illness - it is primary, progressive, chronic, and if not treated fatal). My doctor was trying to help me, but I was more interested in blaming and being angry - as they say sitting on "the pity pot."
My wife got fed up with me and literally told me she had had it with my not doing anything to help myself. Now, think of the addicted individual who is reluctant to go to treatment - killing themselves slowly with chemicals. My wife told me use steam, try some nasal saline solution - DO SOMETHING!
I literally was turning my world upside down over what was no more in my mind then a stuffed nose - can you imagine what an addicted individual goes through!
In any case, the moral of the story is take responsibility - become part of the treatment equation - reach out to help yourself - listen to your family and friends who are in a better position to see what you are doing to yourself - communicate with professionals (never once did I call my physician a second time to report my side-effects and concerns) - don't beat yourself up in the process (a complete waste of time).
Oh, by the way, in case you were wondering I am fine now but I had to take the "cotton out of my ears..." If a psychologist who likes to think of himself as fairly well adjusted could do this over a bad cold - well you get my point! Reach out and let others in!
