Raising Happiness

In Pursuit of Joyful Kids and Happier Parents

Failure Makes You a Winner

What quality does the Buddha share with Luke Skywalker and Joan of Arc? What links Harriet Tubman with Harry Potter? It has nothing to do with enlightenment or magic. It has to do with struggle. These heroes share a key quality: GRIT. Read More

The Phoenix is YOU!


I have had a tough life, for a Westerner that is, compared to Third World people it's nothing.

Dad that threatened and belittled. High school was a social nightmare. I failed many times. Failed exams, but succeeded quite well the second time, as I had much better grades. Failed college, two times. Failed in relationships.

Had a psychosis when doing my first education in college. Part of why I quit it. Would have failed anyway. The weird thing is, before my psychosis, I wanted to lose myself and do things I feared and was ashamed of, so I wouldn't fear or shame anymore.
A psychosis was the perfect plan.

Depression? I have had moments of intense void and extreme sadness. Glad I wasn't diagnosed, getting out of it yourself is actually very satisfying. After my psychosis I was feelin' blue and got anti-depression prescription drugs, not anymore, no thanks, I'll take the anti-psychotics but nothin' more.

I've studied the human psyche and other subjects when I was in social isolation, and continue to do so now that I'm not that isolated anymore. Bought several books about it. Read into body language, sociology, evolutionary psychology, psychology, biochemicals, Machiavelli, Robert Greene, cognitive biases, invasive biology etc. Experimenting on internet strangers what I've learned.

Did some volunteering while I didn't have a education. Valuable experiences, and I did my share.

I'm lookin' for the right opportunity and when it comes in range I'm gonna jump and grab it into submission.

good luck there.

"I" was somebody's opportunity (well, I feel like I've been everybody's opportunity, really), and you know what? They jumped me, and grabbed me into submission. Know why? Some people don't know the difference between opportunity and people. That's why I'm about as clear cut bent on suicide as I've been in years. Let my grit be what coems out the the crematorium. Let's see somebody "use" that to make money. Hmph.


(That vent wasn't directed at you. Sorry. I do wish you luck. But be ready for when life doesn't deliver.)

Sorry, sounds sooo nice, but...

Really already. This is kinda just a way to redirect guilt. "They didn't make it, so they didn't have grit." kinda thing.

Really? I'm not talking about a bad day...I'm talking about bad DECADES...years of being used...misused...and having NO WAY to do ANYTHING about it. Go ahead...say it. Just SAY it. "I deserved it". Deserved WHAT? To SUFFER POVERY DESPITE DECADES of WORKING? full time work?? Walking miles through thunderstorms...-35 degree tmeps...105 degree temps..floods...hail...lightnight. through neighborhoods so bad even the cops don't want to be there...I mean...I'm talking walking at 3am and hearing gunshots here.

Grit?? Where the H did THAT get me?? NOWHERE!!! Do you even have a clue what grit is?!? It's the rubble left on the ground from the pedestal that USED to be a another person, the one that got not leapt over, but stepped on, year after year. Crushed... Grit is what USED to pass as a human. I have LOTS of grit. And you know what? People use it to get where THEY want...while I am left...there...on the ground..worthless, and going nowhere.

Good to have though

Actually, the most common thing among heroes is the ability to do something that others cannot or will not do because it is too tough, too scary, too impossible. The grit is something necessary, heroes tend to have grit, but not everybody who has grit is a hero, simply because your environment, your luck and other things influence your outcome, as some comments posted here illustrate. Now, is it good to have grit? Certainly, it is a very handy trace of character, but also as everything in the world not always will be an advantage. By the way, the idea is not new, Nietzsche talked about it around 150 years ago.

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Christine Carter draws on psychology, sociology, and neuroscience to help families, schools, and communities produce happy children.


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