Quiet: The Power of Introverts

How to thrive in a world that can't stop talking.

Love, Work, and Friends: You Actually Can Have It All, With One Caveat

You want a social life, with friends. A passionate love life and as well To work hard every day. What's true Is of these three you may have two And two can pay you dividends But you never may have three. Read More

Rings true

This article absolutely rings true for me. I have love and work, but no friends - well, I do have a few, but rarely see them. They've become "email and phone friends." It is next to impossible to find the time to make new friends. At past times in my life I had work and friends, but not love. Seems like I've always had work partly because I've always been motivated to study and build a career, and partly because I have to work for financial reasons.

Sort of reminds me of those articles you see (aimed mostly at women!) that ask - can you have a thriving career, wonderful marriage, AND be a great parent? Yes, you can, but perhaps not all at the same time.

It sounds like it's a matter

It sounds like it's a matter of proportion, to me. One can have a special loved one, a few good friends, and a valued job that doesn't demand the long hours and debilitating stress.

Of course, having an uber-social schedule rocks that boat, but that kind of stuff, in my experience, is all pretty superficial (like having a party with 150 of your closest friends :) ). And job-wise, why the push for EVERYONE to be the BEST? Such pressure when "merely" being very competent is its own source of satisfaction.

Is it the neurotic drive (of some) to have the very best of all things what really pushes them over the edge?

Thanks for this article!

Thanks for this article! There is often guilt and pressure from not being able to do it all at once. I dare say it is worse for females because of the biological clock and balancing motherhood/ career. I don't think I want kids. That takes some away of the pressure to 'find a mate before its too late'. The pressure to do it all can be overwhelming for women. We're also expected to maintain unrealistic standards of beauty while we do all of the above. I should avoid those magazines at the supermarket. They freak me out.

I'd agree with Banjo Steve, it can be a matter of proportion. In North America, there is that live to work mentality that may confuse a European. North Americans seem to think work should fulfill rather than just be a means to an end. That is my perspective as a European immigrant raised by European immigrants in Canada.

I graduated from college and

I graduated from college and entered the work force around the time that the drumbeat to "have it all" was starting up. Many women my age have run themselves ragged trying to prove that they can measure up. It's almost like a continuation of the "school" mentality where striving after laurels--grades and achievements--is more important than learning, exploring, and growing. In trying to fulfill a set of criteria imposed from the outside, you can miss out on the actual experiencing in the moment of friendship, working, and love and romance; how can you really pay deep and close attention to any of these when you're frazzled and overbooked? Of course, some people thrive on the busyness, and good for them, but we're all different, and no one should be looked down upon if they choose only two or one out of three or perhaps some different goals altogether.

it actually bugs me about

it actually bugs me about america that the idea is still pushed that we can have it all, all at once. It also bugs me because the only thing america really pushes is to be a good worker bee. Your work is who you are period. Its really sad that we dont allow for other ways of defining ourselves. I mean we pay lip service to it but america though books and studies and politics pushes work as an end all. Even a new book called the longivity project proclaims that the more and longer you work the longer you live.

If it's important......

I feel that if its important enough to the person then they can find ways to do what they want. In this case of not seeing friends for FIVE whole years - you can always have a bbq/party at least once a year and invite all your
friends.
In my expereince, friendships are not considered that important here in the U.S. and one of the first things to "let go" when people are busy. Work,money, children come first. Don't be surprised when your friends are no longer around when you are "ready" for them.

Nice effort, very

Nice effort, very informative, this will help me to complete my task.glass graffiti removal

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Susan Cain is the author of QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, a popular blog and forthcoming book about introversion.

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