Our President is facing a barrage of pressure to make our society, and especially our schools, free from bullying. Major anti-bullying organizations have been disseminating a petition to Obama urging him to make the bullying stop. Lady Gaga has met with the White House to urge the President to solve the problem of bullying.
The truth is that our president can, indeed, make a major contribution to solving the problem of bullying. But the only way he can do it is by mustering the courage and honesty to make a speech something like the following.
President Obama (and advisors), I offer you the following speech for free. I hope you will use it.
Sincerely,
Izzy Kalman
My Fellow Americans:
In the past year, you have stepped up your demands that I, President Barrack Obama, personally intervene to ensure that our
government complies with anti-bullying laws. You would like to enlist the power of the federal government to create a bully-free environment, especially in our schools, for nothing is as sad as children taking their own lives because they cannot tolerate being bullied by their peers. I had previously given in to this pressure, and early in 2011 dedicated a day at the White House to bullying, conducted a highly publicized
FaceBook event, and instructed the children of our country to stop being bullies by following the Golden Rule and treating others the way we would like be treated. You may have noticed that my efforts have not made a dent in the problem of bullying.
Never before had I felt as much like the Wizard of Oz, making promises to my people while knowing full well that I couldn't deliver. That's why I couldn't face Lady Gaga when she was invited to the White House to discuss bullying, and had her meet with my staff instead. Therefore, at the risk of losing your votes, I have decided to come out with the truth about bullying. I will be giving you both good news and bad news.
First, the bad news.
I am sorry to have to tell you this, but I cannot guarantee you a bully-free environment. That's because to the best of my knowledge it doesn't exist. The only bully-free zone I know of is Heaven. If I actually had the power to get rid of bullying, don't you think I would have started by getting rid of it in the government? It would make my job a whole lot easier!
Asking the government to protect people from bullying is like asking the mafia to protect people from organized crime. Bullying is the essence of government. Government is the only body that has the legal power to force people at gunpoint to do things against their will. We force you to give us your tax money and then we decide how your money is going to be spent, whether you like it or not. Lobbying groups then bully politicians by threatening to withhold funding or votes if we don't use the tax money we took from you and spend it on their agendas rather than on other groups' agendas. When you lobby for anti-bullying laws, you are trying to force the people with the greatest power in the country to force other people to stop using force against you. An anti-bullying law is what's called an "oxymoron."
Within government there is a constant struggle of people trying to gain power over others. Political parties bully each other, and there is plenty of bullying within parties. Governments also bully each other. You may be aware that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran, constantly complains that the United States is bullying his country. The U.S., on the other hand, feels bullied by Iran.
As far as individuals go, no one in the country, or perhaps even in the entire world, gets bullied more than I do. That's because the more powerful and famous you are, the more people are going to want to pick on you. I took office hoping to accomplish my election promise of change, but I have made almost no progress because everyone is trying to bully me into doing what they want. The general public bullies me as well. I bet you know lots of people who hate me and say terrible things about me behind my back. While it is obvious to me that they are bullying me, they sound as though I am bullying them! And the media loves to bully me, too. Just read the newspapers and watch TV.
Why would anyone even think I have the ability to create a bully-free environment? I am a politician, not a magician. I'm not even a psychologist. I can't get my own kids at home to stop bullying each other, and they sometimes bully me, too. And as much as I hate to admit it, even my wife bullies me sometimes, though she'll tell you that I bully her. It turns out that the world's most highly respected bullying experts don't know how to create a bully-free environment either. Even the "gold standard" Olweus Bullying Prevention Program has been shown to be a disappointment. It rarely produces more than a minor reduction in bullying and often leads to an increase. Would you like me to raise your taxes so I can pay for anti-bullying programs that don't work? Furthermore, if the world's most respected bullying experts don't know how to create a bully-free environment, how am I supposed to know how to do it?
Even if I were to personally intervene to help you against your bullies, do you think that would work? If I go over to them and tell them they had better stop bullying you or they will face the full power of the government, do you think they will say, "Okay, I promise never be mean to 'so-and-so' again"? If I have learned anything from experience, they will try to convince me that you are the real bully. They will hate you for enlisting the President against them, and they will be mad at me too, for taking your side. They will want revenge, and I will definitely lose their vote in the next election.
I understand your eagerness to have anti-bullying laws passed, thinking they will make life better for you. That's because just about everyone thinks the bully is the other person. But the same laws that you believe will help you against other people can be used by them against you. Will you be so happy about anti-bullying laws when you find that you are the one having to defend yourself from a bullying lawsuit?
As your leader, I am truly sorry to have to bring you the news that government cannot create a bully-free society. However, I am not the first person to have explained this. 2400 years ago Aristotle, who was one of the greatest logical thinkers of all time, explained it. As far as I know, human nature has not changed since then.
But I also have good news for you. An effective solution to bullying does indeed exist. In fact, it is the only reliable solution, and it is simple. However, you may not like hearing it because it will require you to give up the dream that someone else will make people stop bullying you. Instead, you will have to take personal responsibility for making it happen. As Dorothy and her companions learned from the Wizard of Oz, the intelligence, emotions and courage needed to deal with the hardships of life are already within you.
I may not be a psychologist, but I am a first rate expert at dealing with bullying. It is impossible to be a successful politician without being good at it, and you can't become President without being an absolute master. So I am going to teach you what I have learned from my own life experience. And I will be saying the very things I would say to my own family.
No laws protected me from bullying. Ever since childhood, kids put me down for my Dumbo ears. They put me down for being of mixed race. They put me down for being a foreigner. Even today adults put me down for similar things. They accuse me of not being a native born American and therefore having cheated my way into the presidency. They berate me for being a Muslim and they berate me for being a Christian. They accuse me of hating America. They accuse me of being a Communist and they accuse me of being a Capitalist. They call me a bully and they call me a wimp and they call me a hypocrite. No matter what I do, I get attacked by lots of people.
Fortunately, my hardships led me to discover the solution to bullying, enabling me to attain the position of most powerful man in the world. The solution is called "wisdom." Wisdom involves using our brains to understand the nature of life so we can solve our problems. This same wisdom has been discovered by people throughout the world and throughout history. And I will give you now some of the basic wisdom that is necessary for becoming immune to bullying.
