By Janet Tintner, Psy.D.
7 a.m. Sunday, February 12th, 2012. Whitney, 48. The headlines blared: no known cause of death. I immediately flashback to the equally stunned headlines for Michael, 51, in 2010, and Amy, 28, in 2011. Despite the shock, is it really sudden death? For all three, there were prior hints of pain and torment along with reckless self-destructive drug use. What price talent, what price creating? What about the culture of fame, the allure of "Sex and Drugs" our media spends so much time and energy sensationalizing?
By 10.30 a.m. the networks are all running preplanned speakers about the Republican primaries. Whitney is still on my mind and I search for more. By then, the only place to find her is on VH-1 where I hear her singing alluringly, hauntingly about her pain. I am sad I only recognize her suffering now. Sad I will never have the opportunity to hear her sing live, most sad of all that such a raw and prodigious talent is so untimely snatched.
Is it in part from pain that the creative soul finds its energy? As I listen to Whitney, Amy Whitehouse's seductively raw ‘Rehab" creates a chorus in my mind's ear. How ironic, that so much flamboyance--so much glamour and success-derives from such struggle. What kind of pressures exist that have long waged this congruence of death, drugs and glamour?
Sometimes, when success takes us too far away from the world in which we grew up, it can be difficult to live comfortably in our own skin. Alienation can pull us towards what is known, what is familiar, even if it is painful. Maybe especially if it's painful. Was this part of what happened to Whitney? We will likely never know.
We all have a whole range of emotional experience within us. But in a world that idealizes quick fixes and perfect appearances, we are not encouraged to face and accept the more difficult parts of ourselves. What is it like to look and sound so gorgeous and be hurting so deeply? Maybe we can listen to Whitney singing about her pain, mourn her tragic loss, but find a way to be more accepting of ourselves.
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About the Author:
Janet Tintner, Psy.D. is a psychoanalyst and graduate of the William Alanson White Institute where she supervises and teaches in the Eating Disorders Compulsions and Addictions Service. She writes about the physical self and about obesity, including the role a partner can play in its treatment. She is in private practice in Manhattan.
© 2012 Janet Tintner, All Rights Reserved
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psychoanalysis-30
