A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about a friend who had lost her sister to suicide. She's been incredibly proactive in seeking support, which can be very hard to do.
Often, survivors of suicide - those left behind after a family member or friend dies by suicide - feel isolated. Survivors may feel shame connected to the stigma around suicide or be concerned about how others will react when they talk about their loved one and his or her death. They may not even know where to turn, which resources exist in their home community, or which online resources can be trusted.
It's this last point that connects to my friend's story. She joined a Facebook group for sibling survivors, where she posted about her experiences in the days following her sister's death.
She shared the things she did, such as anger at some friend's well-meaning responses, because she knew this group was made up of people who all share the same unfortunate experience.
But, in the online group, different from a face-to-face, in-person support group, there is no professional facilitator. There isn't a time to set ground rules, such as "what's said here stays here." Not to say that these are not possibilities for online groups, just that this group doesn't have them.
So, what happened was that my friend was asked if members of the group could re-post some of what she had written on their Facebook walls, if they could share her words at suicide prevention events.
She was, to put it simply, appalled. Though some may be open to doing so, she felt that she wouldn't want what she had shared with the group to be shared outside of the group.
On the heels of her story, I read an article in the New York Times about online therapy, which has grown from its initial incarnation as telepsychiatry (therapy practiced at a supervised site, but allowing therapists to connect with geographically remote individuals virtually) to a booming industry. The article outlines the differences between face-to-face therapy and online therapy, not limited to the unpredictability of Internet connections (imagine losing your connection just as you're sharing - or hearing - a critically important detail) and the lack of eye contact because of odd webcam orientation.
Both my friend's story and the New York Times article made me think about how far we've come, but also how far we have yet to go. If you read this blog regularly, you know I'm a proponent of using technology to advance opportunities to do "good." Creating a support network for isolated people = good. Connecting individuals who've worked with a therapist for years to that person for a few more years, albeit virtually = good.
But there are limitations to acknowledge and caveats to consider. What do you think?
Copyright 2011 Elana Premack Sandler, All Rights Reserved
Image on home page by Tim Morgan
