After watching The Social Network a few weeks ago, it was clear to me that Mark Zuckerberg's dream was for a Facebook for everyone. Exclusively for Harvard students? No way. Just for college kids? Nope. Everyone.
Because, literally, anyone can be on Facebook, the response to my post last week about Facebook, emotions, and identity shouldn't have surprised me. But, as comments and e-mails came in, I was reminded that Facebook affects adults just as much as it may affect teens.
From pylgryme:
"Depressed adults probably don't find their life affirmed by reading their FB friends' stories about amazing vacations, super-smart and witty children, and incredible Significant Others. On the other hand, even without Facebook these depressed adults would still be depressed. They'd just have a smaller pool of 'friends' to silently envy."
R_Brooklyn wrote in about wanting to post negative responses to friends' annoyingly positive status updates.
A reader in her late 50s e-mailed to share that she often feels sad and depressed after reading friends' upbeat updates. She worries that she doesn't measure up to others.
I share these examples to normalize what I've heard anecdotally: Facebook makes even grown-ups feel bad about ourselves. As pylgryme says, perhaps some of these people were already feeling bad - but Facebook didn't make it better.
Facebook may also bring out our inner "snark," or the little green monster of jealousy. Again, we might be jealous people already - but reading about everyone else's seemingly great lives doesn't make us feel any less jealous. R_Brooklyn shared that she knew wanting to post negative responses to positive statuses was a maladaptive way of dealing with the situation. But, I imagine she's not alone in feeling that way, however unproductive that feeling may be.
R_Brooklyn said that she joined Facebook as a way to connect with others and gain support that might help her build self-esteem. That's the part of reading her comment that really got to me.
I've long been a proponent of social media for social good; I see and believe that Facebook and other social networking sites can have positive effects when it comes to connecting people with each other and with resources. But, those connections do not seem to be without cost.
The effects of social media on our feelings about ourselves as individuals are complex. Just as in real life, we respond and react to the others that we connect with as part of any group or organization. Online and in real life, there's the funny friend, the friend we tolerate, the friend we envy. All of these individuals - and the group dynamic created by reading about all of their lives on Facebook - can influence how we feel about ourselves.
We may think that Facebook is different because it's social media, something new. But, it's a mirror, a reflection, a microcosm of real life. The dynamics at play are at play precisely because human beings are involved. We bring our emotions, personalities, and idiosyncrasies to Facebook. Facebook just reflects them back to us.
I'll end by echoing pylgryme's wish that any future research looks at the effects of Facebook on adults, too. Obviously, we could use a little help.
Copyright 2011 Elana Premack Sandler, All Rights Reserved
