This past Christmas, my four year old son received a toy/learning child's laptop from one of his uncles. I thought the present was cute, until my wife shared with me that it can connect to the Internet.

Since I opened my practice one thing has been consistent amongst the types of referrals  I have received. I routinely get referrals from saddened parents about a young son in the family who has acted out sexually with a much younger, and usually the most vulnerable family member. Whenever I accept such cases, it usually takes about a month for some of the truth to come out on when the child or teen first began experiencing sexual thoughts and desires.

So far the youngest of these cases I have worked on has been seven, while the oldest has been thirteen. Their younger victims usually range from ages two to five. So back to when they first began experiencing sexual thoughts and visualizing images in their young minds; the one thing these young boys all consistently report is that months prior to offending, they had repeatedly viewed porn over the Internet. Seldom have they reported viewing porn through a desktop computer or laptop, but mostly through a mobile gadget, be it a smart phone, portable gaming device or music player.

Needless to say the mind of a child is in no way shape or form mature to process any sexual information, particularly images. Children who consistently see these images,  begin emulating what they see. From my professional experience, they usually begin targeting the youngest and most impressionable  member of the household, and in some cases they target classmates. In one case the referral was for an eight year old, who had been suspended from school after repeatedly grabbing the chests of several of his female classmates and attempting to drag another female classmate into the restroom.

I have made good and sure, that my son's toy has no access to my wireless, I feel strongly that all parents should do the same. If you have a child or early adolescent who owns a portable device that can receive a wifi connection, you should make sure of the following:

1. You have a secure wireless connection.
2.Make sure your son or daughter does not know your wireless key or password.
3. You routinely monitor all activity on your son or daughter's portable device.
4. Don't be afraid to be a dictator, especially when it comes to cell phones. (Explain to your son or daughter that it is your right to monitor all calls, texts, games, music, apps. etc. on their device.) If they are not compliant, please take that privilege away.
5. Don't be hesitant to have age appropriate conversations about body parts, sex and perpetrators with your child. (For an idea on how to go about discussing issues of sex with your child, please read this post.)

So what are your thoughts and feelings about this post, do you have a better argument? If so please leave your appropriate and insightful comments in the comment section.

Ugo is a psychotherapist and owner of Road 2 Resolutions, a professional counseling and life coaching practice.