Promoting Empathy With Your Teen

This is the one of the most subjective findings in psychology. Although I agree with you that spanking does not correlateS with higher IQ, I strongly disagree with you that it does not help in child upbringing. Kids need to be disciplined and spanking helps. However, what does not work is parents taking their anger and abusing their children for their own faults.

There must be an objective research that proves otherwise and it is not based on researchers own agendas or likes. Verbal discipline works only in circles where there is no danger or other strong bad influence.

I don't think that spanking has anything to do with a connection to lower IQ. I don't think it has anything to do with anger management issues, either. Spanking is not taking anger out on a child, it is a issue of necessary discipline. Turning it into a anger issue or child abuse is misreading an action taken by a caring parent or parents.
In contrast, taking no disciplinary action teaches nothing about consequences of our actions. And recognizing that our actions do have consequences has positive benefits, it encourages responsibility.

I agree with the writer. While I'm not sure of evidence that shows spanking lowers the IQ, I don't believe in spanking. I think that if you have to resort to spanking your child, you've already lost control of the situation. I don't believe that you are teaching them any valuable lessons, rather teaching them what not to do while you're around and to be careful not to get caught. It in no way teaches the natural consequences of actions. Its a quick fix band aid solution that can cause bigger problems. It seems that a lot of people have the concept that the only form of discipline that works is the physical form. I fail to see the necessity of spanking as a form of discipline. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in children running over their parents. Parents should be leaders and set boundaries. When you spank your child you are giving them the message that you don't know any other parenting techniques or don't feel like putting forth the effort to use other techniques. The message is also sent that you have lost control of the situation and must engage in a power struggle with physical force. Speaking from the experience of an often disobedient child who was spanked, it also puts control of the situation back into the child's hands without empowering them in a positive way. I often found as a child that I was able to "control" my parents by leading them to spank me. I found that the times where my parents sat down and spoke with me were frustrating because I no longer had the control and was forced to actually contemplate the results of my actions. I'm not saying that spanking is abuse but I am saying that it is not the most effective way to develop and nurture a child. But then again, that's just my humble opinion! :-)

What too many parents fail to see is that discipline starts right away. When a two year old pulls his brother's hair, jumps on the couch, hits another child with a toy. These are not "cute" things, and they need to be addressed. If you wait for your child to be 5 or 6 and running all over you, it's too late. If at 2 you laugh at such a cute face, and at 5 or 6 you must resort to spanking an unruley child you have failed as a parent. By 5 or 6 a stern look of disaproval, or a stern word of warning should be enough for the child to know that they are close to or have crossed a line in acceptable behavior. But if they were never taught the boundaries, you can't blame the child for what they don't know, you blame the teacher for not teaching the lesson.

It also seems that there REALLY is a line between spanking and abuse. I, personally have experienced both. But how is it that there is such a big difference in the children and their behavior today from the 1950's? I mean what has changed? The first thing that comes to my mind is child protective laws. The second thing that comes to mind is that we have seemed to have lost the "real" sense of family. I'm sure you (the writer) would never spew obscenities (for example) to another person "just because". Although today it seems as if a large amount of children actually do these things with so much as a pinch of guilt, embarrassment or as it's put in spanish verguenza ( which is like the two combined).
I have noticed that not all children respond postively to spanking as well. Usually these children tend to have abusive parents and it seems to me that they are actually unable to make a distinction between abuse and discipline. Because of these parents and their children, I'm sure that the cycle will continue on through the generations unless someone of good influence steps into their lives and guides them.

BS!! I have 3 girls...I spanked them when it was needed. I am also human. I believe in discipline! you cannot rationalize with a 2 or 3 years old, who is having a temper tantrum. My girls turned out well, adjusted, and constantly seek my advise with the boys they go out with, but they make their own decision.
parents today, are whoosies. they are AFRAID to discipline, you think too much! Look at the animal kingdom, how they discipline their young.
when I gave spankings, or discipline my girls, 3 spanks only (no more, no less)...one to get their attention, 2 I do not approve, and 3rd...I am the dad, this is a dictator ship..I was not voted to this position.

I think if anyone is spanking their child, 'keeping their cool,' or not, the situation has definitely gotten out of hand. I can't imagine anyway being hit by someone who has a completely emotionless face or even a calm/happy face aka someone keeping their cool, can you imagine being tortured by someone who shows absolutely no signs of any intense emotion behind what they are doing, but instead display almost some vague contentment with what they are doing. Talk about nightmarish.

I believe the lower IQ rates associated with spanking may appear because parents who spank are less likely to communicate with their child, to talk them through why behavior is wrong or inappropriate, and it is these interactions that help so much with child intelligence.

Personally, I think the author has some processing to do of whatever pain he felt when small, which I think is evident in his implication that spanking would be OK if it were true that parents could 'keep their cool,' (a definition of that would be helpful, but the idea I have of it already in my head almost seems more hellish than a raging parent- at least a child can then attribute the abuse to anger and rage).