Some time ago, I addressed a situation with a thirteen year old, who had been turning in blank sheets of papers to his teachers, and calling them his assignments. To further make this case interesting, this teen had been identified as a gifted student, by his teachers and other professionals. It later came out that he was attempting to dumb himself in the presence of his peers in order to gain acceptance. While this revelation made a lot of sense, it was also sad, because for most of the semester he had spent his time sabotaging his academic progress.
This scenario is quit typical with teens, however it calls attention for a re-evaluation of what most of us believe to be important human needs. Like most people in my field, I learned that before emotional needs were need to be met, basic needs such as food, and water have to be met first. But what if the reverse where true? What if our most basic needs to be met first are emotional needs? More specifically, what if our most basic and primal need to be met first is the need for acceptance and recognition?
As stated earlier, the story about the teen who had been sabotaging himself academically to gain acceptance, is nothing new. This phenomenon is common even among adults. Think about it, recently clothing company, Ralph Lauren was alleged to have fired a model because she was too big to model their clothing. Turns out that the ousted model stood five feet and ten inches tall and weighed in at a hundred and twenty pounds. It makes you wonder what kind of clothes she had been modeling, children's clothing? This twisted trend setting attitude currently explains the phenomenon behind eating disorders, specifically anorexia where a person denies herself of essential nutrients, in order to achieve a perceived sense of beauty. Here's another example, what about suicide bombers? People, (mostly young) who have committed to deny themselves of life's most precious gift in order to honor a cause? These are two examples where human beings have been know to deny themselves fundamental concrete needs that ensures survival, in order to gain a perceived sense of acceptance into a larger group or culture.
Basic physical needs, such as food, water and shelter are important and always going to be essential to the wellbeing of any person, however the need for acceptance and recognition by one's peers should not be underestimated the least bit. As a parent, when I think of my child's future, the first thing that pops into my mind, is how much I will need to put aside for his college expenses. However, I have been making a conscious effort to change that mindset, while my child's education and preparation for prosperity is important, of utmost important is his emotional wellbeing. Without him learning to accept himself and others unconditionally, and subsequently having a healthy sense of identity, any preparation for long term prosperity might be fruitless.
Just as most parents spend a lot of effort in preparing their children and teens towards achieving prosperity in various endeavors, the same amount of effort should be spent preparing youths to properly deal with issues such as negative peer pressure, and developing a healthy sense of self.
